my story kmarie619: I am 25 years old and recently started the divorce proceedings. I was only married less than a year, when I made the decision to leave him. We were together seven years before that. I wasn't happy anymore. He treated me bad and was emotionally and verbally abusive. I don't know why we got married the signs of his personality were there before. I did what I had to do to be happy. However, he is making me out to be this really bad person to some of my own family and a couple of friends. It is very hard because we still have mutual friends. I don't want our friends to have to choose sides, but my ex is putting them in the middle of it. I feel alone most of the time. I have people to talk to but no one understands. They are all either dating or cant hold down a serious relationship. No one understands what i am going through. I dont want to talk about it all the time, because i dont want my friends to not want to be around me cuz i am depressed. I hope this whole thing gets easier. I just want my ex out of my life and i just want to be happy again and if that makes me a bad person than i guess i am.
Re: my story sheydp: First of all, welcome to ojar. Here you can talk all you want and there will always be someone to listen.
Second, if he is verbally and emotionally abusive, you DO need to leave... and if you want him out of your life, maybe take a close look at the other friendships in your life, too? Are they people who help support you in being a better person, or do they drag you down? If they drag you down, LET him have them, no contest. If they are the kind that help you be what you want to be, what he is saying won't matter. They won't take sides, and they won't just believe what he is saying without checking it with you. However... do you really WANT to continue sharing friends and social circles? Maybe it is time to really consider what you want to do, and where you want to go?
Shey
Re: my story idocsteve: First of all you have got to get your priorities straight. I can't tell from your post whether it's more important that you keep your friends or leave your marriage. If you truly feel that you made a mistake by getting married, and counseling is not an option, and you are suffering; then get divorced. As far as your mutual friends go, you can't change what they feel, how they act, and what decisions they make. You can always make new friends...
Re: my story kmarie619: I am getting divorced. And I am happy with my decision to do so. I feel that I made the right choice. As for my friends, their friendship is important to me. I have been friends with them for a long time and thought they would be different. They say that we will still be friends but i feel like they are leaving me behind and out of things. i know it may sound weird but since i still have all the emotional scars that my ex inflicted on me, i cant help but think that i am the one who did something wrong.
I appreciate your responses, it is nice to know that people understand what i am going through.
