Re: My sister... again... yella: I tried to take my niece aside too, but my sister is so damn controlling that the poor girl really has no place to go.
Basically, you're right, I sit here and watch my niece fall deeper and deeper into a depression that she shouldn't be feeling. It drives me nuts!
It's taking all I have not to call DSS and report some of the stuff she's done, because she's had DSS on her back at least three times for different reasons. But for the simple fact that she's my sister, I haven't done it. Now I'm wondering if not doing it is causing more damage then doing it?
What if she falls too deep and really does try to commit suicide? I mean, it can happen, right? She's 11, and kids these days are forced to grow up so much quicker. What if it's too late by the time we actually get to her? No one's really going to know when it gets to that point because she's too afraid to talk.
It's come to the point where I don't want my kids anywhere near her, and I'm getting crap for it. I'm the one being mean to my sister... again...
Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
She really needs her ass kicked!
Re: My sister... again... TeddyR: Wow Smiley,It's great your standing up to your Sister,but in the long run you frustrate yourself more and more since your hands are really tied.Hell,it would be easy to tell your sis "talk to the hand",but what makes this especially sticky is your niece and what ultimately becomes of her having to endure all this while growing up.Your sister's arse really should have been busted once and for good early on (20-20 hindsight) and now there is very little else that can be done on your own.
Send her emails,get in her face,be that opposing force that those people loathe.It's all you can do.It would be great if your parents also would join you,but doubtful they will being afraid of her and having allowed it to continue for so long.Besides at this late stage you probably won't succeed in making any headway or create lasting change in reguards to sis anyway.Bottom line,she'll do what she's gonna do.But that aside,no one has to make it easy for her either.Main concern is for the child now.
Has anyone called SRS? Ironically it would return the favor of what she did to your parents? The child shouldn't be in that atmosphere and an approach by doing what you can to get SRS etc. involved may be the single best thing to be done now.Maybe under close supervision by those who can call the shots legally can make sis start at least acting like a Mother.
Smiley,sad sad story and i can see where emotions run high for you (putting that mildly).Your a Mom and it's understandable the way you feel.It seems there are always cracks that these types of people fall through and never get called out on anything in their lives.Indirectly,It only serves to further enforce these nasty behaviors and doesn't ever get to the root of the problem.At this point all you can do is fight her all the way.
:(
Re: My sister... again... yella: Thanks, Teddy. I have no doubt that all of this will not be pretty, but you're right, she needs to be fought somehow.
She can't keep acting like she does... like she can do anything she wants. She already lives off the state, works part time, is on food stamps, gets section 8 to pay for her rent, and refuses to drive, so my parents have to cart her around everywhere. All her life she's had things handed to her, and has never had to work for a single thing.
My mom's excuse for all of it... she has low self esteem. That's her answer to all of it... she has low self esteem. I'm sorry, but since when was low self esteem a reason to not work and support yourself?
She's so pathetic, it makes me sick! >:(
Re: My sister... again... icwtsmnl: i cant stand that she does this to you (and her daughter). i wish i knew what to say. I completely understand your fury; and being "this close" to getting physical with her (been there, except I actually did it). and the way that fury can make you shake. Such an awful feeling that I know you don't deserve.
All i can offer is hugs and ears.
Re: My sister... again... yella: Thanks, Girl. I appreciate that. ;)
