Re: the right thing? sheeps: [quote author=surprised link=topic=37608.msg405525#msg405525 date=1163978756">
She was saying hope is bad because it can lead to so much disappointment. [/quote">
The trick lies in what you hope for. To desire for things to be the way they were is a natural desire, but that is not Hope, for it's so unlikely.
Hoping for the impossible is folly. Hope for the achievable, the noble, and the rightous is what sustains us in times like this. Hope for relief from your pain; hope for positive change in your outlook; hope for that inner peace.
Re: the right thing? surprised: Well said Sheeps. With any luck I can hope to be happy no matter what and stop hoping for him to come back. Time, right?
Re: the right thing? sheeps: Hang out here long enough and you'll note that I repeat myself alot...
Anyway, I guess I'll retract my earlier statement that all clichés are true.
One, at least, is not for Time does NOT, in fact, Heal All Wounds. What it can do, however, is bring perspective and clarity to you with regard to the true nature of your relationship. You will begin to see certain aspects as dysfunctional or unhealthy and you may well come to understand what parts were working.
The pain of our failed relationships, particularly those that involve deceit and infidelity is never, in my opinion, truly healed. We accept it; we grow scar tissue; and we allow ourselves to wall it off to a degree.
I still remember the first time I ever got dumped when I was 15. It doesn't bring tears to my eyes or anything like that, but my Heart "remembers" the pain. It's my mind that allowed me to move on.
Re: the right thing? surprised: That's interesting. I can't remember my first break-up. The thing is, we've been together since we were 18. 10 happy years, I just assumed we would stay together and be one of the few lucky couples left that got to say they've been together that long. The point is, I have no perspective right now, I still see our time together as nearly perfect.
Re: the right thing? surprised: Well he's been at work for an hour, which means he got the stuff I left; is it absolutely retarded of me to hope that he will call tonight? Why can't I let go? This sucks.
