Please can somebody help me. ezydriver: Last night, I was thinkng how the ignorance of not knowing where my ex is in life was bliss. I had tried so so hard to avoid finding out even the tiniest of details about her. Because it hurt. I even went to the extreme of changing my address and phone number to avoid it.
I typed a letter on Ojar today. Litterally hours before I got a phonecall from a relative that lives near to my ex and knows her. This relative has no idea how it has affected me because I've been careful not to let anybody that has any contact with my ex know how I feel.
My relative told me today "Your old girlfriend is expecting a baby, shes got a new man she's seeing"
O M G !!!
Right now, after months of emotional recovery, after so much strength has gone getting over her, even with daily tears still flowing to this day, I hear this news and I feel right back at square one. How can this be?
I spent a total of twelve months, spread over two relationships with this girl. I have had two periods of grief with her. The first was this time last year, it lasted for 3 months. The second is now and has been 4 months.
I left her because she was cheating on me. I'm assuming he is the father.
She was a loony. She had a failed marriage and I highly suspect her 11 year old son was only born because she wanted to trap her husband. I know he was accidently conceived. She did try getting pregnant to me in the last week, no, last DAY of our relationship, but failed. She actually tried to get pregnant and was saying stuff like "I'd love to have a baby with you". Despite constantly maintaining that if she ever did get pregnant, she would abort as her first son fucked her life up and kept her form leading the life she wanted. She is deeply insecure and doesn't know how to love herself, her son and especially not others.
This news has absolutely devestated me. It has devestated me just as much as the two breakups I've had with her. This is now a third term of fresh , devestating, lose your appetite kind of pain that I've felt over this girl.
Fuck knows why and how I was so deeply in love with her. She was as cold and cruel as they come. She developed psychosis after her first child was born and went delusional for 6 months. I feel sorry for the unborn child and for whoever the father is.
The feelings of shock, depression and jealousy are out of this world. I was struggling with my emotions, even to this day, but this?
Please please help, this is another dark hour of need of mine.
I miss her so much, and I dont know why. I'm so scared and depressed that this is another thing to deal with. I feel like I did this time last year, and that was not good.
Re: Please can somebody help me. MadorSad: Turn and walk away Man, Keep moveing away from the loon. This is just a rough spot mate 8) You know what happened the last time you steped back into this >:(
Re: Please can somebody help me. ezydriver: [quote author=MadorSad link=topic=38008.msg410827#msg410827 date=1164738295">
Turn and walk away Man, Keep moveing away from the loon. This is just a rough spot mate 8) You know what happened the last time you steped back into this >:(
[/quote"> Oh I know. There is NO WAY I'm stepping back into this. But my heart wont let go. And I'm confused why it wont. I was deeply involved with this girl, who, probably viewed me as just a bit of fun for a while.
It hurts, it hurts so much, I actually feel physical pain over this shit. She's gonna be so happy now, with her cosy family. I'd dreamed of being with her forever, and it came crashing down because of her cheating and insensitivity.
Re: Please can somebody help me. Spike: Brother, listen to the MadorSad man, just walk away. Don't turn back, and push the rest aside. You have gotten through the shit before, you can do it again. Keep moving forward.
Re: Please can somebody help me. MadorSad: You just need time buddy you know that as trite as that sounds it will take some more time...
On the positive side you have a second chance to find a girl that cares and loves as deeply as you do...
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