To the man who said "I'm truly finished with you" MEP2006: Yes, yes, what a luxury you have. I get it.
"I love you and I love your son as if he was my own".
You have no idea what it is to love a child, even if he WERE your own. Love means sticking around when you're so ready to walk out the door. You have no idea what love is, in any sense. You don't even love yourself. You think because you're seeing a counsellor that suddenly you're justified in all of this? You're the poor, blameless victim? You threw back in my face the days I felt overwhelmed by having to parent my son by myself. As if you would have ANY idea what it is to be a parent. To be the one souly responsible all the time. And when I tried to explain to you why that would overwhelm me to the point of considering sending him off to be raised by my friends, you accused me of not loving him; of being a bad parent.
Let me tell you something, you smug, lying piece of shit bastard:
If you were in my position, and you had been 8 months pregnant when your prince charming walked into your life and promised you everything you had ever hoped for, and then, a year later decided he was more interested in some sweet blonde with big boobs, YOU'D be pretty fucking devastated, too. You'd wonder what was wrong with you. You'd question your ability to hang on. You'd look at your life and your abilities with a sense of complete and utter incompetency because now, not only do you have to be a full-time mother and father to your child, but you also have to find a way to shield them from your heartbreak and keep everything together for their sake.
You're so smug and condescending. Sitting up there on your pedestal of self-righteousness, telling me that you're truly done wiht me and want no more contact with me ever. After I opened up every facet of my life, without hestitation or qualm, to you and trusted that you were going to be the man you said you were. Now you're suddenly too good for me and the "abuse" I heaped on you (yes, I'm sorry, not letting you get away with cheating and lying was an awfully abusive thing to do. Poor you... how could you stand it?!) You're so convinced of your own superiority and innocence, you can't even imagine how your betrayal and defection would affect anyone else. You let a 1 year old get attached to you. You know how he reaches out to you and clings to you. Then you walked away. And you accuse me of manipulating you with him. As if! He loves you, and I can't think of a way to make him undestand that you're just not interested anymore. Leave me to clean up the mess, you self-centered narcissist. It's what you do best.
God, I'm so mad. I'm overflowing with this furious rage. I want to scream, cry, make him see what he's done... how all his accusations are so fucking FALSE and evil and mean!!! Where is your justice? Where is your reaping and sewing? Have I been so horrible in my life that this is what I deserve? I guess I have. I guess he's right. I'm not worth anything.
Re: To the man who said "I'm truly finished with you" MEP2006: You spent the night with her again. Talking about how you're going to be the kind of person who warrants precious, real, genuine love instead of sacrificing all that you are for such a vile creature as me. You make me sick. You make me want to throw up on my shoes.
One year ago, I was that normal, sane, calm, level woman you were so attracted to. Know why? Because your insidious poison hadn't infiltrated me yet. You would hurt me, and I'd cry and wonder why you were so hateful, so unfaithful, when I was awesome! I was AWESOME! And such catch for you after you had been with that crazy woman. Yeah, she was crazy alright. And driven there by YOU and the bullshit games you're always playing. You withhold your love, claim that no one is ever kind enough, sincere enough, gentle enough, loving enough to deserve it, and that you're always putting yourself out there to get stomped on. Poor, desolate baby. You have no idea, do you? You can't conceive of the responsibility you bear for turning women into the shuddering, defeated heaps they always end up after a relationship with you. Do you think that's just a coincidence? Do you really think you've just happened upon dozens of "bad women" to love? Get your head out of your ass. You've had more than any man's fair share of the very best women. And you've broken them all. Then claimed you were injured by their unloving, unfair ways.
You don't even see what you do or how you're to blame. Instead you project everything that's wrong with you onto those who would love you. You called me abusive. You said I justify everything away. You said I twist and manipulate you. You said I've chosen for myself the life I'm leading now because I wasn't enough for you. YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.
YOU whittle away at women's sense of self and worth until they're destroyed. You do it with your magical charm, too, so that every time something's wrong, they feel it's their own fault. That they could never be enough of what you wanted or needed. But as soon as they do what you want, you shift the rules so that it's something else entirely that's so unforgivable to you.
Now it's Heather, and she seems great, doesn't she? Rational, calm, kind, gentle, loving, level-headed and ready to put out any time you undress her. That was me last year. We were laughing at what a headcase Cheryl was. Now you and Heather are laughing at me and what a mess I am. I would bet $100 million that next year, you and some new blonde will be laughing at how screwed up Heather's become. The cycle just never ends with you. You're like a woodchipper. You take in otherwise healthy, fantastic, faithful women and spit them back out in pieces. And then you justify all of it by saying you're broken, you're afraid, you don't know why you do what you do, it's not your fault, they didn't love you well enough, you had to protect yourself, you cheated because you were freaked out by getting too close, you resent their suggestions that you could actually do something in your life to become a better person, they ended up just the same as the last one.
You're such a piece of work. I wonder if God ever looks down on you and weeps.
Re: To the man who said "I'm truly finished with you" icwtsmnl: sweetie, how do you know he spent the night with her again? are you giving in to the temptation to check up on something somewhere?
Re: To the man who said "I'm truly finished with you" MEP2006: There's nowhere for me to check up on anything. It's a gut feeling. I always "feel" it when they're together. Like, I know they're together today, right now. It makes me mental and I wish it would go away. It runs in my family. My aunt has the same thing.
Re: To the man who said "I'm truly finished with you" icwtsmnl: really?? and these feelings are always right? not just fear or paranoia?
ugh, if so, that's an awful "skill" to have. eek, i don't WANT to know what some people are doing. blecchhh
Click More for the next page.
