what to do? ace1234: Question.
My wife left me a few months ago and there happened to be another guy.
Now, she say's that she had some feelings for this guy but, that he didn't know that and it didn't go any further.
People I know happened to be out one night and saw them together.
She said to me that it was all just 'coincedence' and that he happened to be there at the same time and that they saw what they wanted to see, but it didn't really happen that way as she has no contact with him, like I asked her.
Now, my question is, I happen to have run into a friend of mine from school who just so happens to be a private investigator who does this kind of thing. Wondering if I should just let it go and try to believe her or if I should go ahead and spend the money to document it.
thanks.
l8r
Re: what to do? tryingtosmile: I think the answer lies in what your goal is? You said that your wife left you a few months ago. Are you still separated? Or divorced? If so, just let it go. If she left you than it really doesn't matter who she is seeing and if she is lying about it. If she is currently with you and you feel that she isn't being truthful about this "other man", then you shouldn't ignore your gut feeling. From your post, it sounds like you don't believe her and for good reason. However, spending money on a P.I. , even if you do find out she has someone else, won't really solve anything. Sure, you'll know for "sure" that she is seeing him, but I doubt it will make you feel any better...and it won't bring her back (at least not in any way that would end up "happily ever after". Ask yourself if you really want to put forth all this time, effort, and feeling into someone whom you don't even trust. I wouldn't ever want to be in a relationship with someone that I had to spy on or who felt like they had to spy on me. My advice is to let it go....
Re: what to do? sparkle7: Ace,
I know how hard the unknown can be and how painful it must feel.
If your relationship is over, letting go would be my suggestion (easier said then done), because finding out is going to be painful (if it isn't positive).
If you're talking about coming back together, I think that trust is the foundation of a relationship.
I send good thoughts and strength to you!
Sparkle7
Re: what to do? johnnzd: It may be good to know for a couple of reasons:
Do you have kids? If so, documenting her behavior may prove valuable in negotiations.
Also, for me personally, I found out after my stbxw had already called it quits that she was seeing someone. It hurt really bad, but also gave me the kick in the butt I needed to realize there is no going back. Yes it will hurt, but knowing and dealing with that hurt is easier that not knowing & obsessing about the future IMO.
Re: what to do? ace1234: Thanks for the replies!
I think I know deep down that I should just let it go, but you know it's difficult.
l8r
