I'm I dumb? myaacerto: Am I dumb for trying to work things out with my "lying, cheating husband"? Its been 4 months and I'm still checking cell phone records and email. I'M GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
Re: I'm I dumb? JadedButtafly: i have learned in the last year that it is not easy to give advice on this. it all depends on the individual circumstances, each is different in its own way. I spent well over a yr b4 the kids and I moved out fighting for my marriage but that fight was a one person battle for what should have been a two person battle. one year after I moved out....I finally realized I was in love with and fighting for my memories, our past together, and who he use to be together, and not the man he is today. This was only after a year of struggling with and still fighting the fact that I felt I love him with all my life and i would die without him. I struggled with this for an entire year bc i just wasnt ready to face the reality of it. I know my circumstances are different from yours, but take a look at what you are fighting for, is it for the man he is, or the man he use to be with you and your memories with him? think about it long and hard, sit down and write a list if you have to of why you love him and why you are fighting. It helps. hope you find some words of wisdom here at ojar. God bless...
Re: I'm I dumb? myaacerto: Thanks, I guess my main problem is that I don't know who he is...sometimes he's the man I married and sometimes he's this other person. He is putting effort into the marriage...he's home all the time now and he calls and lets me know where he is and what he's doing....I just don't feel what I used to feel for him right now...I'm hoping it will come back but...my heart doesn't do flip flops when he looks at me anymore. I don't feel special to him anymore. I don't believe anything he says to me...not even when he says he loves me...because I know he said those same words to her. So what's so special about me? :'( :'( :'( :'(
No one told me it was going to be this hard.
Re: I'm I dumb? JadedButtafly: no one can every really tell you how hard its going to be; although we've all been through it or where you are now, we all take it differently. I understand what you mean when you say you dont get that "Flip flop" feeling anymore. My husband, after a year finally realized what a butt he'd been but its too late now. He did so much and didnt do so much more for the kids and I in the last yr, that i dont believe him when he tells me he loves me etc... hang in there it will get better, its just a matter of time and hope. Whatever you do dont lose your hope.
Re: I'm I dumb? myaacerto: I'm hanging on but in the meantime I hope I don't lose my mind.
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