Trying to make it work Jinxed: I'm sorry if this post does not belong on in this forum but i was told to get support anywhere i can so i'm trying here.
I have been married for 13 years with 3 kids. I just found out a month and a half ago that my with has cheated on me with 3 different men over the course of 5 years. the first was a short "fling" at work and ended shortly after it started. The second was a local guy that has been on and off other the past 2 and a half years. The third was a guy that she used to work with and just started about 4 months ago.
Needless to say i'm devistated. After long hours of talking with my wife we desided to try and work things out. She has said she was sorry and admitted to me she was happy that i found out becouse she did not like the person she was becomming. To be honest i'm not sure i can get past this. I'm not sure if my desition to try is more for me or my kids. We agreed to go to marrage counseling and she has desided to go to her own therapist to help her figure out why she would do what she did. I have also desided to go to a therapist to help me deal with all the issues i have.
Thats the segway to the reason for this post. I need to know if what i am going through is normal for a person that has had their life turned upside down. The fact is that i HATE my wife for what she did. I also love her with all my heart. I have always been the kind of person that would reason through things. I think that what i'm feeling is becouse of this love hate thing i have going on inside. I have developed what i think are panic attacks. I always have a pain in my head. Like a pressure that wont go away. I cant think straight. I have no desire to work. I have lost 35 pounds since i found out from no apitite. I'm having pressure in my chest. I have an overwelming sadness that i feel has consumed me. The doubts and fears are in my every thought. ( sorry for the rant). I feel like i have lost myself and that i may have gone crazy. Anyone that knows me thinks of me as a quiet level headed caring person.
I need to know if i have lost it. Everyone tells me (including my therapist) that what i am feeling is normal but i'm not so sure. One moment i feel a little bit better and the next i feel all the issues hitting me so hard i could cry. Will i ever feel better? Will i ever feel like myself again?
Again i'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. but if you think this post is unclear, hard to follow and nuts then you have an idea of what my head feels like right now.
Re: Trying to make it work Spike: Oh, you are in the right place, and we can offer support. I'm not sure I should if you are treying to work things out, but what you are feeling, has been felt by everyone here. Betrayal is a bitch!!! It will take a lot of hard work and dedication from BOTH of you to get through this. You're on the right path though, my friend. Welcome!
Re: Trying to make it work thejoker: yeah man... you are telling your story so you are posting in the right place..
and as for what you are feeling.. it is what it is.. everyone handles things differently. So you can have your love/hate war inside
and honestly it sounds pretty much justified
I'm going down the path of I think you need to let your anger flow... it's something to let out and not keep in. but that's my opinion.
We are here for you.
Re: Trying to make it work Jinxed: Thank you so much for your support. I am working hard to let my feelings come out naturally but it is so hard. I have to tell you that i cant beleave how the pain will show itself phisically and mentally. Does that happen to everyone?
Re: Trying to make it work Ray.Banner: What you are feeling is normal. Especially because you were cheated on not once, but at least 3 times. It appears that you are suffering from depression and high anxiety, which often occur together. I would be surprised if your therapist has not told you that, and suggested medications, at least for the short term. Even if your wife decides to be faithful to you going forward, are you going to be able to trust and forgive? That's not a question you will be able to answer right now, but someday you will have to.
Click More for the next page.
