Re: Trying to make it work savage7t: You are feeling normally. I am handing a similar situation the same way(lost 45 pounds). It is good that you guys have elected to work things out. It does not matter what caused the problems, what matters is what are you going to do to fix the problems. Try the book "The Divorce Remedy" by Michelle Weiner-Davis. It offers specific strategies for this situation.
Re: Trying to make it work 2be: I'll add to the "what you're feeling is normal." I could have written that exact post a year ago, including the wondering if that feeling would ever go away. You are taking the right steps seeking counceling both together and individually. And people are correct in saying you shouldn't make any decisions until you're both a bit more stable emotionally.
The betrayal of trust is one of the worst things to feel, IMO. Stick around and continue to post, no matter what the feeling is.
Re: Trying to make it work NoEscape: hey guy--you are in the right place. I am in almost the exact same boat except my wifes affair is emotional not physical...although there has been some making out. We are doing the individual counseling thing but some days I really hate my wife for betraying me and other days I just love her because I always have. I started talking to some women that I like --just to kind of make me feel better about me. Im not looking to screw them or anything but for some reason it does make me feel better. I dunno ---trust is a hard thing to come by and when its broken its really hard to get back.
I can say this to you---my wife had this EA with this guy 2 years ago and broke it off...now years later same deal(they work together). I never totally trusted her but it was enough to get by. Now I have no trust n her at all but we are still enjoyig each others company. We may still divorce but I want to try the therapy thing---see if it does anything at all. I owe it to my 2 year old....and to myself.
