Re: Trying to make it work allmusic76: I agree with Ray...
its going to be a while before the initial shock wears off, and you are going to be able to make a good (and informed) decision about what has gone on.
Best of luck.
Re: Trying to make it work chaos40: "she has desided to go to her own therapist to help her figure out why she would do what she did"
She probably wants to go to her own therapist to tell her side of the story the way she wants and justify her actions. I would be very cautious if I were you it takes a really selfish, morally void person to hold in a lie like that for 5 years while sleeping in the same bed as you. I found out the hard way that you can't change a person. they are what they are no matter what you do. My opinion there’s an 85% chance there will be a 4th if you forgive and an opportunity presents itself to her.
Re: Trying to make it work chaotic: Continue going to therapy both couples and individuals. Like was said already, it is still very early to determine what the best course of action is for you and your family. Its hard to make rational decisions when your emotions are running high.
Re: Trying to make it work erin_merie: You are definately in the right place. So many stories here are just like yours (in some ways) mine included. It is good that you are seeing a counselor, I've been seeing mine for a couple of months now and I am throughly convinced that therapy should be a life requirement. I don't know if I would have any moments of rational thought if it weren't for her. Anyway, I hope that you stick around here and that you are able to find some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
Re: Trying to make it work savage7t: You are feeling normally. I am handing a similar situation the same way(lost 45 pounds). It is good that you guys have elected to work things out. It does not matter what caused the problems, what matters is what are you going to do to fix the problems. Try the book "The Divorce Remedy" by Michelle Weiner-Davis. It offers specific strategies for this situation.
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