Re: my story MEP2006: I don't know what you did for those first two months -- maybe you cocooned yourself against the world and everything that felt too raw to acknowledge, but it amazes me that you made it through that, the most awful time, before finding this site and the support that will hold you up through the next rough patches.
The end of love doesn't make sense (but then again, neither does the beginning, really.) It's cruel, and unseemly, and a huge injustice. It was never created to be a temporary thing, and the human abuse of love is just about the worst part of our character that I can think of.
If you can, think of this time as a wilderness experience. Wilderness experiences are isolating, lonely, and they ask for almost more than we can bear in forcing us to cast off all out dependencies on the past and survive in the "right now". The wisdom you will gain from this wilderness time will stay with you forever. The strength you will procure, for having come through this and being able to admire your resistance and resiliency will be a trophy and an insurance policy in the future. The other thing about wilderness times is, they don't last. You must walk through them to get to the promised land, but how quickly or how slowly you walk (or crawl) is really dependent on what you need to learn while you're out there. Take heart, dear friend. This is a desert, but you're crossing it. You will come to the water and the refreshment of life once again. I promise.
Re: my story HoldingPattern: Hi Wings, I don't have a lot more to add because everyone has pretty much covered it, but I wanted to tell you personally how sorry I am to hear your story. It sounds a lot like mine....My hubby told me on Halloween night that he wanted a Divorce. Even said he has been contemplating it for close to a year, but was hoping his feelings would change and we would grow closer. Well, he sort of forgot to clue me in on his feelings and I thought we were happy (at least I was, and he seemd to be) we even took a 2 week vacation this summer and had a great time in Miami...no distance what so ever. Anyway, we have 2 kids so he is still living in the house with us. I was a complete basket case until I found OJAR. These amazing people have helped me so much in the short time I've been here, and they will help ease your pain as well. Feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk.
Best Wishes!
Re: my story wings: thanks you guys for all your kind words. you all are bringing tears to my eyes as I read.
My work does have what they call an Employee Assistance Program that I've looked into, they provide all kinds of counseling/therapy services, including dealing with divorce. They do 3 sessions for free. I'm going to do this, and see where it takes me.
BetterThanThis, I like your analogy to crossing a desert. it feels so empty and like such a long journey, but I believe after I cross I'll find a better place.
The only way I've really been able to get thru the last 2 months is because I've been SO SUPER busy at work, that I've basically given all my energy and time to work. The result being I had pretty much no time to stop and think and do personal stuff. My workload has been a blessing in disguise.
I don't have any children, and that is making things easier than it could be.
thanks, all, for being here for me. for us being here for each other.
