Re: What are the signs of remorse after an affair? kimberly: I think if they mope around you and call all the time asking for forgiveness. However, this does'nt indicate sincere remorse only regret there is a difference.
Re: What are the signs of remorse after an affair? abandoned1: From my own experience, and experiences of others' on this board and boards like it - don't wait around or obsess on getting an apology or show of remorse from a wayward spouse, because most likely it's not gonna happen.
Often times they project the blame for the affair on the betrayed spouse (ie. lack of affection, lack of attention, financial problems, etc.... - just an array of excuses to justify what they've done). They also tend to not want to talk about it out of shame or guilt - which they'd rather not show because that's an admission of their wrongdoing. They truly don't want to face what they've done. Total cowardice on their part.
It's not that they enjoyed hurting us - or they wouldn't have been involved with us as deeply as they were - but they've had a moment(s) of extreme selfishness. I get so mad sometimes thinking about how many chances I had to cheat on my wife (with much prettier women - although my wife is gorgeous too) - but I didn't because of my commitment to the marriage.
The best I ever got - via email, was that she was:
"Sorry things turned out this way." WTF!!! They didn't just magically turn out this way - you made it this way with a conscious decision to have an affair. Anyway...
Prepare to fight through your pain, and feelings of betrayal by yourself - just in case your wayward spouse isn't willing to, or can't help you.
Best of luck to you!
Re: What are the signs of remorse after an affair? superwife: I wouldn't know...he's never shown any. Still hasn't admitted to it yet (It'll be 2 years in March that we separated, so God only knows how long he has been with her)
