A letter #1 magsynchro: M,
As the days go on, the tide turns and churns. Somedays I am whole, other days I am shattered. The smallest things destroy me while huge things I bat off without a blink of an eye. There are things I can't do because of you. This year I'm not even going to be able to visit my family for christmas as I have a terrible feeling deep down when I even think of returning home. I can not go back to my sister or brother, nor see my neice or new sister inlaw because it shuts down my mind to even think of where I used to live. Hobbies that I've spent more money into than some people make in a year, I no longer am able to enjoy due to the association they have with you and your infidelity. Character flaws I had long since considered resolved are now resurfacing with dreadful results. Each day I slip further and further and my medication becomes more a crux for me while you're here, but I can't see my life with you gone. I don't know the answers, but I do know the questions and sadly the need for them to be answerred continues to press on hourly. Being trapped between marriage and divorce, love and apathy, and joy and sadness is killing me. I've always beleived in blazing the path never found, but the brambles and brush here is thick and I cannot see where the destination is, let alone the right direction to travel. Someday, perhaps, we'll find we're doing the right thing, hopefully we won't find it was the wrong thing.
-MagSynchro
