now what? carpemomento: What the hell... where the hell was I for the last 8 years. Met her almost immediately upon moving to Philly and then my life became all about her.... I thought I had it good. Beautiful, attractive, upbeat and fun to be with... and with a history of being with wealthier men than I ...I thought I was the lucky one The dating was GREAT !!!!. Great sex and lots of it... affection and romance a plenty. Wine and brie by the fireside. And romantic cruises for vacations...I loved it. THIS IS WONDERFUL... AND SHE IS GOING TO MARRY ME... HOW HAPPY AM I
SUCKER
No sooner did she have our little girl but I was pushed out of the marriage bed and neglected. For the next five years I did everything I could... I was told I was a failure ... a fought against her opinion of me and her constant negative judgements. I busted my ass and fought to get us a home... I burned bridges I hurt people, I had alienated friends and family. I lost jobs. Her ring got upgraded, her condo got upgraded, her car got upgraded... thousands of dollars went to cosmetic surgery for her face and her teeth. I worked 2-3 jobs to keep food on the table and clothes on their backs. I fought against all the odds after we were both laid off. I was not allowed to touch the $50K+ equity in HER condo to get us that home.
And NOW???? I HAVE NOTHING !!!!!!...
She files a false restraining order, claims to the courts that I am unstable and bang goes the gavel and they give my wife custody of my daughter. ONLY BECAUSE SHE FILED FIRST !!!!
WHAT AN ASSHOLE I WAS... WHAT A LOSER I TRULY WAS... I was so afraid of loosing her...my life... that I actually tried to reconcile.
I SPENT 10 MONTHS living on an a f'king airbed in a hole in the wall office.. all the while spending all the money I had left (from what she didn't get) wining and dining her and doing what I could to "reconcile". I refused to let my daughter grow up in a broken home...and my wife said she wanted the same thing.
I went to all sorts of doctors to have them treat me for a disease that I convinced myself I must of had (because I wanted to believe her and I had nothing else I could "fix" to make things better). She said ..all I had to do was fix my problem and we can be a happy family again.
I spent a tortuous 10 months fighting my own sanity,alienating my famil,y trying to convince myself that she was right I was bipolar and that all the doctors must be wrong
Over the years she used sex like a carrot on the stick in order to get me to buy her something or help her for a couple more hours... only to get turned down 9/10 times because it was too late or I misread her. GOD!!! a 3 pack of condoms is a a year supply, and even then when it does happen it must be her way and hurried.
5 doctors (1 of them a regional specialist) told me that I was not biplor. They all said the same thing. "You are being had" and that I had every reason to be angry and depressed.
All of our friends now think I AM THE MONSTER... my wife is the victim. She tells her pity story and swings her hips and men just bend over backwards to help her.
My wife complains that she was the loser in the marriage 1) because she married me and 2) because she had lost so much...3) I am the winner because of what she did for me. She can not believe I can't recognize all that she had done for me.. She is the victim here... she came in with everything and now she has nothing. She married me because she felt sorry for me. She tells me that she has went WAY BEYOND any other wife would have to treat me like a husband. She also tells me that I was never there for my daughter so there is no reason I should have anything other than 4 hours a week with. I SPEND ALMOST 2 F'ING YEARS GETTING CATNAPS A RED LIGHTS IN A CAR WHILE DELIVERING F'ING NEWSPAPERS AT A DIME A PIECE, 365 DAYS A YEAR, RAIN, SNOW AND FLU JUST BECUASE THE OTHER 2 JOBS I WAS DOING JUST DIDN'T PAY THE BILLS... AND YOU GO AND TELL ME NOT TO TELL ANYONE BECUASE IT EMBARASSED YOU...AND THEN YOU TELL MY PARENTS THAT YOU ARE MAD AT ME BECUASE I DON"T DO ENOUGH AROUND THE HOUSE!!!!! 18 HOURS A DAY 365 DAYS A YEAR... and coming home to rock my bady to sleep and clean breast pumps, and care for the dog.
And I am the one sitting on the internet trying to figure out where the hell do I go from here. How the HELL do I start over again.
Damn it !!! Damn Damn DAMN IT !!!!
I screwed myself by trying to be the nice guy.
Are all women as manipulative??? I like to think not... but if so .... maybe I should change. Walk all over people... use women ... get my sex and move on... take advantage of everyone. Get what I want and have no empathy for those I hurt or are hurting.
Re: now what? JNA: No all women are not "Manipulative" but a lot are...
You just have to pay attention to the Red Flags ok
One of mine I remember in particular with her was her posting something stating this...
"It's not above a girl to cry a little on a guys shoulder to get what she wants...Not that I would "ever" do that"...LOL
I could write them all day here for you...
But what would make the difference
We have to learn Girl...Guy whoever to notice them...
I blew right past them as you did too
I would love to teach ya but my time is "spent" here...
You look me up sometime ok ;)
Carper wrote: "WHAT AN a--hole I WAS... WHAT A LOSER I TRULY WAS"
You are not a "loser"...She was
She will also "lose" again...
Then that guy will "lose"
IMO
Whatever it was with her who cares...
Do you really want to deal with it...
You send chicks like this down the pike and say "Next"
As far as where you go...
Get yourself worked around
Don't feel the need to be with anyone...
Learn to be you without anyone
Then things will fall into place for you...
Stay Strong
JNA
