please help!!! need advice krissi85: please help!
just a quick overview - my bf and i were 2gether for 3.5yrs, lived together for 3, were sooo happy, he loved me more than anythin and vice versa, everything was PERFECT, we had plans for future, even organised our next anniversary! and we had tickets to go see his fam for xmas, etc. everyone envied our sitiation, i was friends with his friends, it was just the best thing ever. then out of the blue he ended things...
now i need some major advice. i know i shldnt have been snooping, but i just found a note in his bag, that he obv wrote down for himself like reasons behind all this, and omg its horrible. hes listed things that wernt even true, or hes taken small incidends and blown them way out of proportion. and it scares me to think that i think hes actually made himself believe it all. i typed out what it said: (and added my own comments in **)
-i am no longer happy *i know hes not happy at work but HE hasnt done anything about it, but we were happy together*
-i want to be able to do the things i want to do in life - travel in japan, defence force *i never stoped him from doing any of this, in fact i was supportive and wanted to go with him*
-see the people i want to see when i want *he ALWAYS sees his friends when he wants, im never restricting*
-be free (im 23!) from so much responsibility, supporting her, at this age i should be living *he always loved the relationship and always wanted to take it to next level, after all this time now he wants freedom??*
-sick of trying to give her advice but never get listened to *thats crap, i always take his advice into consideration, but ultimatly things like quitting my job etc are MY decisions not his*
-i want my own agenda 'comprimising' was forgetting everything i want, and she getting her own way all the time (by tantrums or tears) *i have NEVER EVER used tears or tantrums to get my own way, i have never thrown a tantrum! how old does he think i am? i compimise aswell*
-i dont want to feel helpless *??*
-im sick of all the drama with her work and brother etc *yes i have issues at work n with fam, but who doesnt? why cant i talk to him about it? i dont go on and on about it*
-i can handle problems but if they dont listen and change to fix problem - all the time upset, ive tried again and again throughout the 3.5 yrs *i do try change when i have a prob, like with work etc*
-im not at all looking for a new partner but if i was i want someone who:
- has a positive outlook *i do!!!! everyone says how happy and bubbly i am (before this!) i had so many hopes and dreams*
- has an 'i can do this' attitude *again, i do! i want to open my own business etc*
- shares the same goals as me *again i do!*
- 100% supportive of my dreams (i dont want to feel pressured to comprimise at my loss) *i have ALWAYS been 200% supportive of whatever he wanted to do, i always encouraged him, told him how he cld do anything cuz hes smart, etc, i was always there for him*
thats it, but i am more confused than ever. because if there the reasons, its total crap!!! its not true. hes making me out to be a complete dif person, and it hurts. i can now see why hes friends dont wanna talk to me anymore, if thats what hes made me out to be. im no shrink, but what does this mean? these arnt reasons to end 3.5yrs, its not even true. it doesnt even sound like him, and im 100% sure hes had full support from one friend thats encouraging all this. i just think hes listening to wrong ppl and doing this for the wrong reasons. im just soo angry and feel sooo helpless. we clda fixed this. why wouldnt he give us a chance?? but i think hes making himself beleive it all. its not fair. we were so perfect, and omg im just so upset. i even found a to do list of his, and he wrote to take pics of all his stuff, wtf??? he knows me better than that, and now he cant even trust me? thats def not him talking. i just dont think hes thinking for himself. this hurts so much, he doesnt even have a decent enough reason!
Please help!!!!!!!!
