Re: OK, time for someone to hit me.... mav100: [quote author=Mr. Incognito link=topic=38599.msg419749#msg419749 date=1165777296">
well she is supposed to be here in like 2 hours and keep him until 7:00 I figured that I would sit at Dunkin Donuts for a few hours. But yeah I dont hang around when she come to see him. It just sucks because I know from whoms house she comes and from whoms house she returns.
[/quote">
I know its a bitch. Hell, I feel the same thing every day. *He's* in OUR house, I'm not. *He's* practically living there already, I'm stuck at my mothers until I can find a place. *He's* sleeping next to her at night, I'm stuck in this stupid twin sized bed.
A month ago she was all mine. Now she's not. It's hard to find the strength to deal with it, especially when the seem to *move on* so quick.
Keep in mind, he's new, he's exciting right now for her. The excitement will fade. She WILL compare him to you. But you have to allow her to miss you for that to work, and allow her to think you are fine with this and fine without her.
I have made the same mistakes since all this has started. I can't seem to practice what I preach. Had I just caught her with her ex, said "We're done", and walked out of her life, I'd hold all the cards, not her. She'd think she lost ME, not the other way around. You have to find a way to get them thinking that way. YOU are something valuable that they lost, not vice-versa.
Re: OK, time for someone to hit me.... ebl: it's very typical for us victims to apologize for something that was caused by them.
I think that it's part of the 5 stages of the greiving period (Bargaining).
We feel that if we take part of the responsibility, then we'll be in a position to fix things. But what this does is that it gives the cheaters a reason to justify their behavior.
Re: OK, time for someone to hit me.... mav100: And that's exactly how she feels right now, completely justified in her actions. I enabled her to feel like that. Tactical error on my part. Honestly, I hope she comes around, even if I'm not sure what I want. I just want the ball back in my court so *I* can make the decision, not her.
Re: OK, time for someone to hit me.... newts: Mav,
I am going to hit you right now! *punches Mav really hard*.
I hope that didn't hurt too much...
You are back to square one, you are once again allowing her to place all the responsibilty of your failed relationship upon your shoulders.
I suggest you DON'T make any form of contact with her, ever, ever again until your feelings have eased. She is not listening, she is belittling you and telling you your behaviour is unacceptable, when really she is unacceptable, what she has done is unacceptable and you should be the one that wont forgive her.
Stop allowing her to play you like a puppet, DO NOT take anymore responsibilty for the demise of your relationship and DO NOT apologise to her EVER again.
Mav, your better than this and she isn't going to change mind for a few reasons;
1. Your keep talking in your emails how you both feel, don't talk for her only she knows how she feels.
2. She is with her ex boyfriend again.
3. You haven't given her a chance to miss what she once had, you are constantly there, emailing, texting and leaving voice messages.
Go out with Julie and just date and have some fun. Distract yourself so you don't have time to think about your ex. You know your done, accept it, believe it and find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated and that will love, accept and cherish who you are and what you stand for.
"NO Contact Mav, you can do it! Everytime you want to email her, go to the board for unsent letters, everytime you want to call her a whore, go to the vent o board and post to her there.
BTW, I think she is a whore too....
Re: OK, time for someone to hit me.... mav100: Newts,
OUCH! That hurt! LOL....
Seriously, thats all I need is a wake up call. I know she screwed up. I know she cheated. My brain still functions. It's just my stupid heart won't hear what my brain is saying. There is a total disconnect between the two. I know Janay screwed this up, and I know somewhere down the line she will figure that out. Funny, I had to drive for an hour today to meet a friend, and what I thought about during that drive was if I even *could* take her back if she called me and said she was sorry and she screwed up. The answer I came up with was "I don't know"....
That tells me all I need to hear. Over time, I'll see things only from my mind's perspective, not from my hearts perspective. When I do so, I'll know 100% she isn't worth it. N/C just gives me time to figure that out for sure. I have to do N/C for myself, not to win her back. That way, I can figure out what *I* want.
As far as Julie goes, you gotta love that. I just spend over an hour on the phone with her. We are headed out later this week again. She's into me, no doubt. Not to insult the women on this board, but you gotta love it when a 26 year old woman with a bangin' figure comes on to you and basically tells you she's yours. HUGE ego boost right there.
Click More for the next page.
