this is going to be long, but i need help!!!! m2g4b: hello everyone, i am M2, 31 years old, married for 11 years, with 3 kids.....i have been lurking around for around 3 months and have found most topics here to be very helpful, but something happened this weekend that finally made me post my story to see if i can get some help!!!
3 months ago me and my stbx decided to split up, this is our 3rd seperation in a year and a half. we have grown apart over the last 2 years or so....nothing bad or major just going different paths, but we did fight ALOT!!! i was not there for her with support of any kind and she was not there for me with anything as well, so we basically were on even playing fields, non worse to the other!!!
anyway.....3 days after i left she comes up and has a boyfriend, now for 3 months i have got information as time went on. she met him a year ago, and has been seeing him off and on in that time. for the last 3 months, i delt with it all, i went to counciling, church, firends, cried, screamed everything that i was supposed to do to let go and move on. she has told me how happy she was and how great he is to her and the kids. once during the 3 months we talked about getting back together, and i said i would, i dropped everything i had going for me and she dumped her bf and hurt him bad, only to go back to him 3 days later. so here we are now, and what does she do. i finally let go of alot of stuff, and accepted alot of stuff, to the point i was moving on, and looking to start meeting someone to get to know. here she comes again.....she lays it out on the table that she has been doing nothing but thinking of me the last 3 months and missing me and wants to be with me in the end. that all she did with her bf was just an escape from the pain and to hurt me. she said she slept with him but only 3 times and drunk at that and it was only to hurt me, no intimacy!!! anyway, so we spend the last 4 days together, once again i dropped everything that was going my way for this, but i did move slow in my heart. i told her she needed help, i needed to continue with my help and things would have to change so much but i was willing for her and the kids. well last night she ups and decides that she loves her bf to much to leave him again and wants him back again. this is after making love to me and spending the night a few times, and just general hanging out and talking. she dumped him again to be with me, and treated him pretty bad to get rid of him......so finally she opens up and tells me that she was not honest with me, that she loves him, they have talked about marriage already, we will not be divorced until feb!!!! and that she made love to him numerous times and were very intimate and that she wants him, that this past 6 days was just for her to see who she wanted to really be with!!!!
i am so broken down right now, i worked hard to get where i was and was doing pretty good, even though i decided to reconcile, but now i am back to square one and not dealing with this very well at all, cause now instead of assuming some things i know things for sure, like love and sex and intimate details that i dont wanna know...........HELP!!!!
how can someone be that devious to play like that, and she feels no remorse for what she is doing or done, she is already smiling today and thinks all is good, and she got everything she wanted....and i got trashed!!!! can someone really be like this? i just almost didnt think it was humanly possible........thanks for reading this, i just needed to let it off my chest to some knowledgable people with some input!!!!
Re: this is going to be long, but i need help!!!! chaotic: Some people do not realize the pain they cause. They fail to see thier actions from any other point of view except thier own. Others feel something missing inside that they think might be filled by having someone else. Still others always wonder if the grass is greener...
Your STBX however sounds like a souless monster that gets off on causing others pain.
Keep 2 things in mind
1. YOU ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF THIS!!!!!! You did not cause it.
2. You will get thru this. You will be stronger for it, it wont be easy, but you will get thru it.
Re: this is going to be long, but i need help!!!! lilbrokenheart: i agree. she does sound like a soulless monster. i hope that she and my stbx find eachother. did she seem to have a soul when you were together?
i had no idea either that after 17 years of knowing him, and 7 years of being together my x was capable of the things that seem to come so easily now. strange how you think you know someone. i've known my ex for more than half of my life and would have bet my life that he'd never do what he did!
i'm sorry that she is doing you both wrong like this -- hopefully both you and the bf can stay strong and not fall into her games anymore.
Re: this is going to be long, but i need help!!!! MEP2006: Holy crap! Your ex and my ex are the same people! Only different genders!
Re: this is going to be long, but i need help!!!! frankbj: [quote author=m2g4b link=topic=39018.msg425353#msg425353 date=1166557907"> how can someone be that devious to play like that, and she feels no remorse for what she is doing or done, she is already smiling today and thinks all is good, and she got everything she wanted....and i got trashed!!!! can someone really be like this? i just almost didnt think it was humanly possible........ [/quote">
I almost feel like I wrote this!
Trust me, there are those out there.......I am dealing with that too
Click More for the next page.
