Re: He disappeared into thin air... ebl: [quote author=2be link=topic=39019.msg425855#msg425855 date=1166629373">
Don't mean to trivialize your pain, but I would have MUCH preferred my X never contacting than have to deal with drunken 3am "i'm so sorry..." phone calls. I would get a stab of panic the moment my phone rang for a month, wondering if it was her.
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yeah, but at least you know that she cared somewhat about you.
I just find it so hard to stomach that my husband and best friend of 10 years can just pick up and leave, and never contact me again. It's really an amazing feeling of confusement. I"m sure that tryingtosmile feels the same way I do.
Everybody else's spouses seem to either come back or apologize or at the very least show a little remorse. Not our spouses. Just disappeared into thin air. And it's almost offensive - I mean, like were we that bad that our spouses do not want to know whether we live or die? After years of being together?? I dont get it, and honestly at this point I don't see it as a blessing in disguise.
Re: He disappeared into thin air... MEP2006: [quote author=ebl link=topic=39019.msg425913#msg425913 date=1166632566">
Everybody else's spouses seem to either come back or apologize or at the very least show a little remorse. Not our spouses. Just disappeared into thin air. And it's almost offensive - I mean, like were we that bad that our spouses do not want to know whether we live or die? After years of being together?? I dont get it, and honestly at this point I don't see it as a blessing in disguise.
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Yeah. That's exactly how I feel. Especially since every other time he left, he always tried to get in contact. But now he's showing his new girl how dedicated he is by not responding or contacting me at all. Makes me feel like I counted for nothing.
Re: He disappeared into thin air... 2be: [quote author=ebl link=topic=39019.msg425913#msg425913 date=1166632566">
[quote author=2be link=topic=39019.msg425855#msg425855 date=1166629373">
Don't mean to trivialize your pain, but I would have MUCH preferred my X never contacting than have to deal with drunken 3am "i'm so sorry..." phone calls. I would get a stab of panic the moment my phone rang for a month, wondering if it was her.
[/quote">
yeah, but at least you know that she cared somewhat about you.
I just find it so hard to stomach that my husband and best friend of 10 years can just pick up and leave, and never contact me again. It's really an amazing feeling of confusement. I"m sure that tryingtosmile feels the same way I do.
Everybody else's spouses seem to either come back or apologize or at the very least show a little remorse. Not our spouses. Just disappeared into thin air. And it's almost offensive - I mean, like were we that bad that our spouses do not want to know whether we live or die? After years of being together?? I dont get it, and honestly at this point I don't see it as a blessing in disguise.
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True and while I'm not arguing with you, because both situations are painful... I still would take yours over mine anyday. I'd much rather have my X just leave than still have this supposed "caring" for me (as you put it) and still go out and cheat. People who care about you simply DON'T cheat. That is a betrayal on a whole different level.
But the whole point of this is: It doesn't matter because you and I can't control the behaviours of our X's. They did what they did and no matter how much it defies logic, the ONLY thing we can do is simply accept their irrational behaviour and move on. Believe me, NO amount of "what is wrong with me, why? statements" will ever bring you an answer.
While my X said she was sorry, begged for forgiveness, she still doesn't have an answer as to why she did it other than... "I don't know, I'm just screwed up." Where is the closure in that? There is none... so I took it upon myself to just move on and accept her strange behaviour as that...strange.
Re: He disappeared into thin air... Azhure: "Pain is weakness leaving the body"
Chaotic, I love that!
Re: He disappeared into thin air... tryingtosmile: you bring up some valid points...it's like trying to decide which is the lesser of two evils..never hearing from them again or always hearing from them? I guess each approach has its drawbacks and I know that even if my husband did call me, it would hurt just as much. Besides, what would he say really? I don't think he'll ever contact me unless he comes up with something to say and right now there isn't much he can say that will undo what he did or take away the pain. I'm sure he feels it is best to lay low, and I do know that it will make it easier on me in the long run.
I'm just still reeling from everything! I'm finding out that it is so very hard to move someone from the #1 front and center position in your life to a stranger on the back shelf.....I appreciate all your thoughts and support!
it is good to hear both sides :)
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