we are back at square one, or worse? frankbj: Hello, friends:
Someof you may remember my story of the girl keeping having 'contacts' with her ex-boyfriend. oh, well, guess what? pretty much the same thing happens again.....I guess she just can't leave him or VERY confused.
I was on a work trip for the past 3 weeks, and the one week we were GREAT, exchanging sweet words over the phone constantly, and the second weeks she started to go out a lot and that drove me nuts (I am not a controling type, just that I cannot fully trust her now after all the history of lying), and in the 3rd week, I started to sense things maybe happening again between them.
She stop contacting me a couple days before I came back, but then on Sunday (the day I am back here), she started to SMS me and asked me to contact her after I landed. I landed but didn't call her, she called an hour later and I sort of brush her off by saying I am in town but a bit busy tonight. From then on....silent....... I am not sure what is going thur her mind right now, but 2 things are centain
1) She got a new job, and is very excited about that
2) she is back with that guy...
since my reaction was so 'not me', she may misunderstood the whole deal and think that I am having a woman here.
Not that I don't believe in communication (I am the poster boy for that), but then it happened so many times when I confronted her, only had her denied all the things and refuse to have open, truthful communication with me. I am in pain....passing day as though it is a month....thinking of her all the time, thinking of just a few weeks ago we were so prefect, and she she was so sweet.....My 'plan' now is not to call/contact her, I think if she really cares then she should make a move, if she doesn't, then that is the answer.
Although I am hurted!!!! And thinking why the bad can enjoy the sweetness of life, when I am stuck here feeling shitty? yes, I know I could move on and so, but I merely have no power in me to do so, plus I still very much hope that she would regret and come back to me
Re: we are back at square one, or worse? JNA: I have felt exactly what you feel now...
If I may give some advice without offending you let me say this
Some people you date keep "backups"...
This sounds like her
I won't put to much on this board as I know how it feels when in a situation like yours but will say this...
The best thing you can do is "Withdrawal"
That is your one chance of getting her back if you want her...
Now don't confuse that with No Contact as all that will do is piss her off even more
Just don't contact her and if she calls well up to you my friend...
I will say this
I dealt with someone like this that tore me down under a torrent of Lies...Broken Promises and Shattered Dreams...
It was all a game to her
She had guys waiting in the wings to replace anyone...
Problem with these types is the "game" ends somewhere and that is when they get a dose of reality
People want what they cannot have...
She can never have me again...
There in lies the rub for these types ok
Act like you don't even care and see how fast she comes crawling back...
Sorry this has happened to you
Stay Strong
JNA
Re: we are back at square one, or worse? frankbj: Thanks for the tips...
In fact this happened once a few months ago. She with with this same guy, and I didn't contact her, after 3 weeks, she called me told me that she misses me. I asked her then what happened between them, and she gave me the whole 9 yards about he is not suitable for her afterall, blah blah blah....
After all these, I do still love her (I am not like her, cannot switch the love off in just merely weeks) so I do honestly want her back.
"Withdrawal" ...isn't that the same with no contact?
Re: we are back at square one, or worse? JNA: [quote author=frankbj link=topic=39038.msg425665#msg425665 date=1166581670">
Thanks for the tips...
In fact this happened once a few months ago. She with with this same guy, and I didn't contact her, after 3 weeks, she called me told me that she misses me. I asked her then what happened between them, and she gave me the whole 9 yards about he is not suitable for her afterall, blah blah blah....
After all these, I do still love her (I am not like her, cannot switch the love off in just merely weeks) so I do honestly want her back.
"Withdrawal" ...isn't that the same with no contact?
[/quote">
No withdrawal means you let her contact you...
It gives you time to think about what you want to do as your hurt right now so the decisions "normally" for most of us are not that clear at that time...
As far as love...You love the "image" of her or at least that is what I loved
I thought of the days when we were "great" together when I should have been looking at what she was doing to me...
frank wrote: "
In fact this happened once a few months ago. She with with this same guy, and I didn't contact her, after 3 weeks, she called me told me that she misses me. I asked her then what happened between them, and she gave me the whole 9 yards about he is not suitable for her afterall, blah blah blah...."
I tell it here and at other boards all the time...
She will tell you what you want to hear or what sounds good at the time
Don't Listen To What They Say...
Watch What They Do...
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I believed my ex for a time until I discovered that
Everytime I did in the end I ended up with that all to familiar feeling of my stomach in my chest again...
Hope this helps
JNA
Re: we are back at square one, or worse? frankbj: JNA and others
Should I somehow send a message out to her to let her know
1) I know about her thing with the guy
2) I am not with any woman or funny business here
What do you think? I think if you stop her on the street now and ask her how come she is not contacting me, she would say' well, I called him after he is back, he sounded funny and didn't seems like wanting to see me'
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