Bitch. tara: J hasn't told his ex that he plans to fight her plan to remove their four-year-old from the state (roughly 1,000 miles away), or that his lawyer says her case may be laughed out of court because, apparently, she's seeking a voluntary move this soon after the custody order was finalized. (He's waiting to hear BACK from his lawyer and have some questions cleared up before he breaks the news to her -- which he will do ASAP.)
Anyhow, today Ex told him she was seeking a few more job interviews for the week she's out there, he told Ex she really should check with her lawyer and she said, and I quote:
"Well, don't think YOU can keep me here. My lawyer said I'll have to go to court. And I will. And I'll win. It'll be better for Kiddo if I'm making more money."
(What she neglected to mention was that it would necessarily be WORSE for Kiddo if she's away from her father and left 10 hours a day with an untrustworthy Family Caregiver while Ex works in this "more money" job...)
I told him this sounded JUST spiteful enough that one might assume she's doing this move to spite him...which, if "spite" can be spun as "deliberately take child away to spite other parent," the court DOES NOT LIKE.
All of a sudden, Ex matters, money matters, and J does not matter to Kiddo's well being.
Bitch.
Re: Bitch. tara: [quote author=Crush(ed) link=topic=39043.msg425706#msg425706 date=1166585166">
I'm not really familiar with your story, but wondering why they divorced in the first place? Does J pay ALL of his obligations to child and ex (child support, bills taken in the divorce, etc)?
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Yep. He's current on everything -- he's actually a bit of a pushover (when his ex is totally broke, he'll pay what he owes her for kiddo's health insurance a little early, or he'll give her a few extra $.) There's no leftover marital debt or anything. If Ex has any current debt at all, it's new. He settled for less $ in the divorce than he was entitled to, because he felt bad.
Their divorce was because they just can't get along in close quarters. (There's more to it than that, but I will say -- there was no cheating, no abuse, no abandonment. A whole lot of shouting and anger on both sides, though. I'm not the OW -- I came well after they separated and they had both dated other people.) They're fine when they don't live together or have to deal with each other for more than a few hours at a time (at least, they WERE fine before all this started). They reached their custody settlement amicably -- no fighting whatsoever. (The $ settlement was another story -- J has inherited assets, and Ex has benefited from those assets, but they are not divisible, nor are they used in calculating child support because they're in a trust he can't touch without his trustee's permission.) J gets weekends, Ex gets weekdays, summer they switch.
Ex is underemployed, making a living wage but not much more...and she is living paycheck to paycheck. But she IS above water. J is willing to up child support if that's what it's about (even though he's paying more than he legally needs to -- he's a full-time student), but that's not what it's about.
I've vented a couple of times already about this -- my recent postings might shed some more light.
Re: Bitch. Topaz: That's too bad. I was surprised to read your post. The 4 of you seemed to have such an amicable informal agreement. I hope it can be resolved peacefully.
Re: Bitch. tara: [quote author=Trixie (aka Topaz) link=topic=39043.msg426197#msg426197 date=1166648145">
That's too bad. I was surprised to read your post. The 4 of you seemed to have such an amicable informal agreement. I hope it can be resolved peacefully.
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Yep. Everything was going swimmingly. Today, I'm wanting blood.
