the last letdown.... ? freakshow: I just don't know how to feel, I am all jumbled up inside. Now I know his lawyer has been staggering this all out and it's only been since August.
Part of me is feeling at peace with the end as this is what he wanted, he filed the divorce. But part of me is so unsettled, I suppose cause he's never told me why, or what actually just happened, I've no closure maybe?
I think the past 4 months I've been hanging onto hope somehow (not that we've had any meaningful conversation) that he wouldn't do it.
But the conversation he just called me with was a quick well I faxed over an amended agreement to my lawyer and hopefully we're just a few faxes away from settlement. blah, blah blah...
I could cry.
I really, really love this man and I pity him at the same time. He was AWFUL to me. He disrespected me in so many ways and took me for granted. Is this normal?
How am I to concentrate and just get on with it?
ARGHHHHHHHH
Re: the last letdown.... ? ebl: don't let anyone tell you to get on with it. You get over it when you are good and ready. I read in a book that a marital breakup takes a woman between 2 - 5 years to get over.
I am also in the midst of a divorce, and I still love my stbx husband. He was my soulmate, but he treated me like crap during this entire divorce process - he filed and included threats, etc.
Re: the last letdown.... ? tryingtosmile: I agree with ebl...you can't force yourself to "get over someone". Everyone has their own timeline for healing! It's understandable to feel no closure when you never had a reason "why". I don't have one of those reasons either and I think it will take me longer to heal because of it...I long for the day when I won't care "why or how" it happened. Hopefully that day will come sooner rather than later for the both of us. Until then, acknowledge that you still have feelings for your stbx, but also acknowledge just how far you have come! The fact that a part of you feels at peace with the ending suggests that you are further along in the healing process than you think.
Re: the last letdown.... ? JadedButtafly: i know closer is an important thing to get or have.... i am in need of that myself.
Re: the last letdown.... ? freakshow: I am definitely closer but still feeling it. That book I read (see book thread) was very helpful and I did all of the exercises. I am human, I still feel and ache. I just cry.
I have overcome a lot so far in this life and far worse than this, which is what pulls me through.
I suppose I am just human and uncomfortable with uncertainty.
???
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