Dont know what to do DunnoWhatToDo: Im not maried, but i've been with my GF for 7 years and we have 2 children (4 & 1.5) and a house together so I've always considered her my wife.
a few weeks ago, I ask my 'wife' for the keys to the car..."in my purse" she replies... I go and take a look and find 2 condoms.
my heart pounding, I go through her wallet...1 more condom... in her suitcase, 2 more condoms.
I checked the exp. date on them and from my calculations, they date from 2 to 1 years ago.
I confronted her with the condoms issue, and she says she just keeps them with her in case we are somewhere other than at home and we need them (she does'nt use the pill) here's the small problem... we NEVER EVER do it anywhere but at home, and beside, the SUITCASE...
She was rather convincing though... so I let it go, but the more I think about it, my instincts tells me something is aloof.
I feel as if she has cheated on me, but wants to put it behind her... but how can I live with that when I have a very DEEP feeling that she's lying to me about it.
2 possibilities:
1) she is cheating on me, or has cheated on me before, but wont admit it. Then, what do I do if I can't get confirmation.
2) she never cheated on me, and I'll look like some OVER JELOUS, OBSESSED boyfriend and she ends up breaking up with me because she can't take it anymore.
It seems 'lose lose' to me, how can I get to the truth without loosing her...
really sad right now.
Re: Dont know what to do frankbj: I am sorry to hear this story.....because I just/am still dealing with it now...
I was the 2 for a while, then learn that actually 1 happened...
Cool down a few days, closely observe how she acts.....then hae a frank conversation with her a few days later. If you guys had been together for a few years, I am sure you have the skill to communicate, right?
Re: Dont know what to do DunnoWhatToDo: we can communicate, it's just that this has raised a bunch of trust issues.
how can I trust her to tell me the truth.
Re: Dont know what to do JNA: [quote author=DunnoWhatToDo link=topic=39076.msg426311#msg426311 date=1166666878">
we can communicate, it's just that this has raised a bunch of trust issues.
how can I trust her to tell me the truth.
[/quote">
TRUST = Consistant Behavior Over Time...
All depends on what she has displayed
As far as the rest it is a Catch 22...
Damned if you do...Damned if you don't
The only thing you can really do is not force the issue and pay attention to the "actions" and not the words from here on out...
People tend to tell on themselves when they are hiding something
If she has been angry at you recently that is a big one as they tend to dump the guilt they have for what they are doing wrong back onto us...
If there is less desire to have sex with you recently
A lot of things dude and a lot of variables
I could go on and on...
Not sure what to tell you really but one thing for sure is this...
A) If you guys use them then she may be telling the truth...
B) I would have to know more about it (not that I could give you a for sure)
Go with your gut feeling as you know her better than us...
Hope this helps
JNA
Re: Dont know what to do abandoned1: Check the cell phone bill!!! I can't tell you how many spouses/bfs/gfs have been busted by ridiculous phone bills. Can you access the account online? Check her calls going out, and see if there is one that is on the bill/her phone that has been called numerous times and you don't recognize it. If you do find one, call from a pay phone or some phone other than yours to see if it's a guy. Calls also give you a clue when contact was made - dates and times. Late at night? Mornings? Afternoons/during work hours when you aren't around - etc....
After that - it's up to you to do any more investigating - but trust me, it'll help A LOT.
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