Re: Dont know what to do DunnoWhatToDo: I know that WE have both felt distanced... but I think that its a far cry from "distanced" and "lets meet somewhere so we can f_k"
Having two young kids is not always easy. We both have full time (jobs+commute+bring kids to/from daycare+feed kids+play with kids+wash kids+put kids to sleep+prepare stuff for tomorow+do dishes... oops its 10:30PM lets go to bed)*365 days a year*4.5 years. How do you maintain a relationship like that.
But she is sooo bottled up, I feel that in this relationship, I'm always the one asking to talk and she is always asking for more space/time to fix her issues. Last week, I had booked a romantic getaway in a very luxurious hotel, suite, breakfast in bed, massages. I even called the inlaws myself for them to babysit in order to surprise her.
Then I learn about this email... I told her today, "what have YOU done to help this relationship?" and she replied "You're always putting pressure on me." ??? What happened to distance??
2nd day and I feel so exhausted.
Re: Dont know what to do marriedinlove: I know how you feel with 2 kids. the owrk is sooo much for one person to handle.I have twins- they are 1- i just cannot imagine doing it by myself. My husband told me on many occassions that he should have left me X months ago- why though? I am just so darn tired by the time it is bed time. Who has time for sex when you are tired. I know what you mean. When he tells me he is staying with me for the kids, that is bull. He has a work phone that I am unable to monitor. hmmmm.
Re: Dont know what to do chaotic: Alot of times when someone is caught, they seem to start pushing the blame on others. They will start turning everything around.
You start trying to talk, and they will say you put too much pressure..You give them room and you are too distant and dont pay attention. It removes them from responsibility in their minds. Soon it may become that you NEVER did XYZ or you were ALWAYS like ABC. These are efforts to place the guilt as far from themselves as possible.
Its a tough blow, but you will get thru this. Try to get some sleep. It will help clear your mind a little and you can think more rationally.
Re: Dont know what to do Lumpy: [quote author=litebrite link=topic=39076.msg438030#msg438030 date=1168535152">
Once you start snooping around and she finds out, she will lose trust in YOU. That's the way it works.
[/quote">
That's only valid if she's not cheating. Seems to me like everytime he digs he finds something incriminating. Sorry Dunno, but I think she's selling you a line of BS. The whole bit of her losing trust in you is crap IMHO. That's called deflection.
Re: Dont know what to do chaotic: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=39076.msg438213#msg438213 date=1168547116">
[quote author=litebrite link=topic=39076.msg438030#msg438030 date=1168535152">
Once you start snooping around and she finds out, she will lose trust in YOU. That's the way it works.
[/quote">
That's only valid if she's not cheating. Seems to me like everytime he digs he finds something incriminating. Sorry Dunno, but I think she's selling you a line of BS. The whole bit of her losing trust in you is crap IMHO. That's called deflection.
[/quote">
Totally agree.
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