Re: Dont know what to do 2be: [quote author=chaotic link=topic=39076.msg438208#msg438208 date=1168546951">
Alot of times when someone is caught, they seem to start pushing the blame on others. They will start turning everything around.
You start trying to talk, and they will say you put too much pressure..You give them room and you are too distant and dont pay attention. It removes them from responsibility in their minds. Soon it may become that you NEVER did XYZ or you were ALWAYS like ABC. These are efforts to place the guilt as far from themselves as possible.
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Yep, EXACTLY what happened to me. It was always my fault and I never did enough. Caught between a rock and a hard place. Only months later did she finally realize what she had in me, and felt terrible. But by then I had moved on (well, enough to know not to go back) and she had to live with her mistakes.
Re: Dont know what to do td7629: Have you tried coming right out and asking her how she feels about you and your relationship? Has she said that she wants to try to work on the issues?
Re: Dont know what to do Feel: you need to go back on your notes a little here. have she ever been away from home?
Ok you found the email and the condoms, but now she may be more careful if she is cheating....
You have to learn to act normal and be calm and remember that if you tell her everything you know so soon, she will just find other ways of hiding things...
Remember you have 2 kids and if you seperate you automatically only have access, though you guys lived together she still doesn't carry your last name and you loose rights... read up o that too... it's much harder also to get joint.. but something to think about before you ruin what you ahve if she isn't!
I hired someone... but only because I felt it in my gutt, but yet he was telling me it's not true and I couldn't stand to be lied too with all the evidence I was finding, but again it's different to suspect, when you really know is what will kill you..... regardless we are here!
Re: Dont know what to do DunnoWhatToDo: I'm not worried about getting joint custody, I'm lucky enough to live in Quebec where the common law does not apply (it's called 'civil code' here) and joint custody is the default.
that being said, even 1 week every 2 weeks would be very hard on me. for the past 6 months I've changed jobs for one that I only need to do 35 hours a week, since then, I see a lot of my kids, every day. It would kill me to only see them every other week.
I don't know how MEN in the US do it (see there kids 4 days a month)!
