Trust superwife: This is gonna sound really weird, and it may not make sense to some...
There is so much talk here about trust, and the fear of being cheated on. Both here, and IRL, and in the media, talk shows, yadda yadda yaddda...
So this is my thought right now...how does one trust another?? And in this case, I don't mean me, but I am talking about him (my bf). How does he trust me? Why does he trust me?? What have I done for him to earn his trust? And most of all, why am I questioning all this, if it's not a problem?
I guess that I am so used to hearing all this business about people not trusting their partners. I trust him completely. But then agin, I trusted my ex husband, and loolk how that turned out :-\. And it seems that he trusts me too. 2 examples: My friend/big brother (who will never be anything more than that) was in town, and naturally, wanted to hang out. My bf was going to join us, as I wanted to assure my bf that he had nothing to worry about (i knew if he met him he would understand). He were all set to go, and he got really sick (gastrointestinal issue :-[), and he said to me 'go ahead, I can't go out like this). I felt so weird, but he insisted. The guy lives in Russia, and it would likely be another 6 months before I saw him again. My bf stayed at my house and spent half the nigh (well, you know...). He completely trusted me.
Just this morning, he was on my computer trying to set up my digital camera software, and he came across some pictures. i said to him "oh, there may be pics in there I don't want you to see". In there was a pic of my ex bf. I knew it was there, but I totally forgot about it until this morning. WHen he got to it, all I said was 'ex bf'. He didn't say a word, he just kept on clicking.
I can't put my finger on it, but I just feel like I am waiting for the bomb to drop. Like, if he ever got a hold of ojar, what would he think? He knows I have met people from here (not ojar, per se), and that I conme here (I try not to talk about it too much). But hey, he goes on myspance, and I am not worried about that. Am I making too much of this? I have nothing to hide (except for soemthing from 10 yrs ago that I am dreading telling him), I have not been with anyone since I met him, nor do i intend on looking elsewhere. I am very content right now. So why do I feel this way? Maybe I just feel like I don't want to blow a good thing. With my last bf, there was an issue where he did not trust me for a moment, and I fear that may resurface. I didn't know how to prove to him that I was not interested on anyone else (and there was absolutely nothing going on with anyone else). It's like I expect it form all guys, I'm thinking...
Re: Trust bluskygrl: I think we all ahve to operate froma base of trust or drive ourselves crazy. I would agree there is so much talk about trust and the lack of it in relationships that its hard not to get caught up in wondering. In fact I know there have been times I wodnered too why soemone trusted me...
I know that the opposite is distruct and often jealousy and that is so bad!!
My advice and new mantra is to enjoy the ride and let the road take you where it will, no buying trouble before its time!
Blu
Re: Trust JNA: SP wrote: So this is my thought right now...how does one trust another?? And in this case, I don't mean me, but I am talking about him (my bf). How does he trust me? Why does he trust me?? What have I done for him to earn his trust?"
Because he is "normal"...LOL
You trust people until they prove you wrong
TRUST = Consistant Behavior Over Time...
You have done nothing thus far to make him not trust you
IMO
SP wrote: "I can't put my finger on it, but I just feel like I am waiting for the bomb to drop."
Welcome to "healing" from being with a "contolling" person...
Deep down you know that SP
I use to call it waiting for the other shoe to drop...
Like WTF did I do wrong this time
SP wrote: "With my last bf, there was an issue where he did not trust me for a moment, and I fear that may resurface. I didn't know how to prove to him that I was not interested on anyone else (and there was absolutely nothing going on with anyone else). It's like I expect it form all guys, I'm thinking..."
That was your last BF...
He is new
Your last BF was "very" Insecure and Jealous...
You cannot "prove" to people like that you are not cheating on them...they assume it through there insecurity hard to explain in a short post
Unless you were doing the push/pull or telling him about your many ventures with guys then your ex should not have doubted you...
You will realise this in time sweetie
Remember "all" guys are not the same as "all" girls are not as you have REMINDED me of several times...LOL
Be you and see how he reacts to it...
For me I could date someone here and they could "flirt" away with all the guys here
As long as she communicates with me then it's all good...
Hope this helps Super Panties
JNA
Re: Trust superwife: [quote author=JNA link=topic=39081.msg426400#msg426400 date=1166676052">
Remember "all" guys are not the same as "all" girls are not as you have REMINDED me of several times...LOL
[/quote">
:D :D :D Wow, this post had your name all over it!!!
Thanks J-
My bf has this confidence about him that I love. So many guys (not all ;) ) do not. I guess I can't blame them, it could be b/c of the women in their past. But nonetheless, the lack of confidence is so uncool...
Just like the insecurity. I honestly feel secure with him, that he has no reason to stray. That's because I am a good catch ;) Sure I have issues, but I don't feel like 'why is he with me?'. And if he does feel the need to stray, well fine, go, get out, don't come back. Just be honest about it. And I know that's how he feels. We've both been cheated on in the past, and have gotten past it. I don't think anything could top my ex and his completwe and utter denial, and still making me feel like I was the bad guy >:(
Re: Trust 2be: I this trust is the ultimate show of love. YOu are giving this person your heart completely, and they can take care of it or step on it. Mine was stepped on, but as a person in general... I trust people up front until they prove otherwise. That's not to say I dont spill my deepest secrets to just anyone right after meeting them, but I give trust freely.
Sounds to me that you are still a bit burned from your last experience with having your trust broken. It is very hard to get over, but you can do it.
