WTF???? WHY missblueeyes: WHY after feeling miserable for over 2 1/2 years, dreaming about being divorces, having no emotional support, no love shown, etc........do I feel so scared about moving forward. Daughter and I are moving this weekend (fun Xmas , huh) and next week. In the back of my head somewhere, I have this bizarre "wish" that he'll walk up to me and say "I'm sorry, I've been an ass, I'll do this,,,,,and this,,,,,and this to help work on our relationship." I feel that I can't distinguish if I really still love him or just love the idea of my family and don't want to lose that. My therapist made the comment yesterday that she doesn't think I love him. I asked her what I was feeling then....and her response was "you're not ready to verbalize it yet" What the hell does that mean?!?!?!?!
Anyway, whole myriad of emotions with this move.....I'm sure tons of you out there have been through it. I'm still at the point that I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I drive past the street my new house is on!!!! I close today.......(5 years to the date we got engaged, ughhhh)!!!!
Re: WTF???? WHY 2be: Sorry. :( I honestly can't say what you're feeling but I know at the end of a long, emotional ordeal we sometimes are SO attached to the situation, good or bad, that it is difficult and petrifying to let it go. I suspect that you ARE just missing the whole concept of a loving family.
Your therapists answer is probably no more than her saying you are very confused, have a ton of emotions all mixed up together, and you haven't sorted them out yet (hence the 'you're not ready'
At least you're moving into a new house that you can make all yours! It's much better than those of us that were forced to downgrade into one-bedroom apartments. ;)
Re: WTF???? WHY johnnzd: [quote author=missblueeyes link=topic=39094.msg426455#msg426455 date=1166712301">
I feel that I can't distinguish if I really still love him or just love the idea of my family and don't want to lose that.
[/quote">
Congratulations!! It took me a looong time to ask myself that very question. That is THE most important question to ask yourself. Once you can distinguish which it is (my guess is the latter) you will find yourself healing much more quickly. You now have the opportunity to design your life for you & your daughter. Take hold!!
Re: WTF???? WHY missblueeyes: Wow. Thanks. Never really thought of getting to the point of asking myself that questions as something to celebrate.
