Re: Anyone feel the same? Beachchick: I lasted about a year with a relationship like yours. The sex was fantastic, he was handsome, but we didn't have anything to talk about.
He made me feel beautiful and sexy, and a part of me fell in love with him, but one day at lunch, we didn't have anything to say.
I've am the quintessential student in life, and he loved to learn as well, but didn’t know how to communicate with me. I would ask him questions about his family, and friends. He would sit there and stare at me. Not once during the entire year, did he ever ask where I was from, if my parents were alive, or anything else about me.
I married someone who didn’t care much about my life, and I didn’t want to be with someone like that again.
It was painful to end, and I still miss him, but it wasn’t fair to keep him around for my selfish reasons. Reasons such as me, not wanting to be lonely. He deserved to find someone and be happy, just like I do. You will find someone to complete you. I’m finding out it takes time…and sometimes the waiting game is the hardest part.
Re: Anyone feel the same? Cheri123: Well I don't know about everyone else, but actually I find it is very hard not to compare someone I'm dating to my ex. Because my ex and I were together for so long, and he was the type of person who was very intellectually stimulating and we used to always have long deep conversations...at least before we started arguing all the time. So instantly its like human nature to see if the person I am dating has characteristics similar to my ex. I do it for several reasons...#1. my ex was a habitual liar and deceiver. I definitely don't want to start dating someone who has these same characteristics. #2 my ex was very controlling and abusive..so I'm checking to ensure that the person I'm dating doesn't have control freak characteristics. #3 my ex was very conceited and boastful. So again I'm comparing the person I'm dating to make sure I'm not making the same mistakes.
Also I still haven't found a person who I can click with, the way that I did with my ex. So I totally feel what you are saying. But everyone is different. Just take it slow and be honest with yourself and this new woman. Let her know that you just got out of a relationship and you're still trying to heal. If she is a good woman, she'll respect you for your honesty.
