Re: Anyone feel the same? hudson: [quote author=stillfightin link=topic=39098.msg426567#msg426567 date=1166719193">
hi,
no offense but could ya shorten your screenname a bit. It makes it difficult to read the message list.
thanks
lite.
[/quote">
Shut up.
[quote author=blacktoplivingroomcouchprofessor link=topic=39098.msg426519#msg426519 date=1166716473">
Just wanted to know, and I'm sure there are, anyone who's in a new relationship, but still mad and why?
[/quote">
Yeah, I've had rebounds like the one you're in right now. 2 of my rebounds were still early on when I was still dealing with the loss and pain of my divorce. It's perfectly normal to be were you are. Just be careful not to lead the girl on. You know the relationship with her isn't going anywhere, make sure you let her know that. A rebound is ok, intentionally using and hurting someone else isn't.
Re: Anyone feel the same? lonewolf: I was never one to do, or understand rebounds. And i'm a basketball player (social). I've always thought it was a disgusting thing to do to someone.
Why do people decide to be someone with the sole purpose of just using them to feel better about yourself, then leave them once your done?
Disgusting and selfish, imo. But that's just me.
If you want my opinion... You sound like you are not ready to 'date' or be in a new relationship. You're still comparing her to your ex. If this new girl is so wonderful, treat her for the woman that she is, not for the one you knew before her.
Be fair. Don't break her heart by comparing her to somone else. Let go of your madness if you care about this new woman. It's only going to hurt both of you.
Re: Anyone feel the same? JNA: HighJack On...
lonewolf wrote: "Why do people decide to be someone with the sole purpose of just using them to feel better about yourself, then leave them once your done?"
Because they are "insecure"...
Because it is an "ego" boost for them that they "so" badly need...
At the time on a rebound they don't care who they hurt ok
It is all about them all of the time...
Watch out for this when dating
lonewolf wrote: "Disgusting and selfish, imo. But that's just me."
Yes it is...But with some they will never see that...
JNA
HighJack Off...
Re: Anyone feel the same? JimB: Be careful when issuing value judgments about rebounds. IMO, very few rebounds are premeditated. Yes, they tend to happen at a time when one of the participants is insecure and in need of an ego boost. That doesn't mean they don't feel real when you're in them.
There are two main paths this particular relationship can follow. One, they decide it's just an in-the-moment thing, and just have fun with each other for as long as it lasts without working on any long term stuff. Two, they decide to try to build something, and work to overcome any issues that come between them (like, say, the anger and frustration of his previous failed marriage). Neither path is inherently right or wrong....
Re: Anyone feel the same? td7629: [quote author=JNA link=topic=39098.msg427007#msg427007 date=1166751880">
Well I have to say you just "barely" fit that name in the block...LOL
As far as the rest...
It takes a time to really "click" as a couple and to look at her as opposed to your ex and her good qualities
Some people "fall" in love fast (Bad Thing)
Some people it takes a time to get into someone else...
Sounds like you
blacktop wrote: "I don't feel emotionally drawn to her as I did to me ex who I now despise, but am constantly angry with"
Join the club dude...
Some things you just "don't" do
And my ex crossed that line too...
In time this too shall pass ok
As far as the why from my side that I am angry with my ex...
I'll spare you that but lets just say well I dated a "stripper" one time that was more trustworthy than her
Give it some time with the new girl ok...
As far as the "Sociopath" to the other poster here...He was talking about her being one...
And "no" they can never love anyone as it is all about "Need" not "Love"
I know...
I dated one...Or one like that with a Mental Illness
But she was HOT...LMAO
JNA
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Thanks JNA.. I read his post wrong.. I thought he was saying he was the sociopath..
Well.. Professor.. I feel for you if your ex was a sociopath.. I truly understand what you are going through and what she probably put you through, since my ex is one also.. All I can say is be glad that you got out of that relationship..
I still feel angry alot too.. I am mostly angry because I feel like my whole marriage/relationship was a lie.. I feel used..I am angry at myself for ignoring alot of what he did.. you know like making excuses for his behavior. I see things so clearly now a year and a half later after being away from him..
One of the qualities of a sociopath is to be extremely intelligent, charming and manipulative.. so they can get what they want.. You can't compare you new girlfriend to your ex... Your ex was saying and doing everything you wanted to hear..
I know it is probably hard for you in your new relationship because of what you probably went through with your ex.. as well as it for me.. trust issues, etc.. but try to keep moving forward as best as you can.. Hang in there and Good Luck.
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