Separated and I'm at fault t8rtot: I need to know something...My wife left me 2 days ago and I know that it's my fault...Here is the facts...I'm 36 and she's 33 and we've been married for 2.5 years
Before we got married, I knew that she was the one...I took her to Jamaica to propose to her and she didn't know I was going to...Everything was fantastic...Then after a while, we didn't do anything...Going out to do anything stopped...Last 2006's New Years we didn't go out and she was in bed by 11:30...I like to go out and mingle once in a while but it actually stopped...It's almost like she didn't care anymore...Now... I have a Hot or Not account setup before I met her...I told her that I didn't have it anymore but I still did...Then a few weeks ago, she went to my work to drop something off for me and she seen my email and seen that my double match was about to expire...I don't talk or communicate or anything with the double matches either...Ok...Here's the thing...I have it setup because of my low self-esteem before her, I didn't find her for about the 3 years in the making...Even in my profile is states that I'm taken so I'm not looking...She seen that email and decided that she was moved out...She said that this is a separation and not a divorce...I don't know how long this is going to last and I don't know what to do to reassure her that she is the one...I know it's my fault and I told her sorry up and down...And she knows that but she told me that she needs time to trust me again...I really screwed up...I miss her.
Re: Separated and I'm at fault JadedButtafly: One thing you have to understand, for some women, no matter how you have posted your hot or not account, single or taken, or any other thing, say a myspace account (aka married, singel or taken), may be insecure about it. Maybe she feels as if she will lose you if you are there. If she's expressed how she feels about your hot or not account, and it hurts her, and you love her, do something about it, delete the D*(@m thing! Life is too short to give up love for something as dumb as hot or not. My marriage was seprated bc of a Pc game. Yes you heard me right, a Pc game that he wouldn't stop playing. and no matter what I said to him, he didn't see it and the game meant more and he didnt realize what had happened until he and I were seperated for a while and by then it was too late. Yes, your self-esteem matters. But posting a pic on Hot or not so strangers can "JUDGE" you is not a way to boost it. Express to her how you feel about yourself, the way to boost your self-esteem is through her, through yourself, through friends, family. Go out on a limb do things you have always wanted to do but never thought you could. You never really know until you try and if you don't try you will always wonder what you "COULD" have done rather that knowing what you did do with your best efforts. It doesn't matter if you fail, you know you have tried and that alone should boost your self-esteem. Trust me on this one, I am one who has been through the low self-esteem issues. There may also be a hidden reason behind why she's left, other than "HOT OR NOT". You love the woman, sit down with her, talk with her, ask her how she's feeling and what shes thinking, then take time to tell her how you are feeling.... she may not like what you have to say and vis versa, yet communication is a vital role in marriage and it clears up a lot. Don't wait until its too late to lose your wife over something as intangible as Hot or not; love is not worth giving up for a million and one strangers judeing you by looks alone. One shouldn't judege people for what they look like. THe sad fact is that many people do; I have always tried to get to know people for who they are inside their hearts and not judge as the rest of the world does. HOt or not is Sooooooo not worth losing love over. I don't know how you stand by I'm a believer in God and I go by this verse in life;
"But the LORD said to Samuel, '...The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'"
I Samuel 16:7b (NIV)
Good luck to you and God bless. I hope you can take this advise from one who has been through this over something as intangible as a PC game.
