Anyone else finding it really hard to hold down a job right now? ionysis: It has been 3 weeks since my ex finally called off our marriage and my boss has been away since then for Christmas in Florida with his family so doesn't know about my situation. He is due back Monday and I am terrified because at the moment I am totally incapable to even putting pen to paper let alone leading a meeting.
I have a demanding job in investment banking and I'm supposed to be heading a team of people but I have literally done NOTHING since all this happened. It's now become like a mental block. I have a load of legal docs to comment on, presentations to finish and I can't keep putting off the meetings I have to attend but I seem frozen. It's a small department so I can't even ask one of my colleagues to cover for me so I just HAVE to find a way to focus again and the motivation to want to be here.
Yesterday I ended up taking the day off sick because I felt so awful and I just wanted to be near my family. Mum and Dad are staying out here with me until next week (I work in a foreign country) and I'm so scared about how I'll cope when they leave - I'm 29 years old for Christ's sake and I can't be on my own without my mother?! Why am I such a freak?
When my parents go back to the UK on 11th Jan I have to move out of "our" apartment and go and live with friends until my new apartment is ready to move into so I'll be living out of a bag in a strange place for 2 months. I have to give my ex the car back too tomorrow so I'll have no transport. I'm so frightened and sad and as much as anything I'm scared I might lose my job if I keep on like this. Can someone just give me a kick up the ass and help me get my courage back? I hate being so goddamn weak. :(
Re: Anyone else finding it really hard to hold down a job right now? sheeps: You may wish to speak to your Doctor about a few week course of Xanax. It will calm your anxiety and allow you to work. At least it did for me.
Re: Anyone else finding it really hard to hold down a job right now? lilbrokenheart: i'm in the same boat, but will try to give you the kick that it seems we both need.
get your shit together!
do not give your ex the power to screw up your work. you are a professional. you can break down as soon as you walk in the door to your home, but at work you must work! put on your power suit and do your thing.
why do you need to give the car back? was it solely his? can you negotiate keeping it for a while till you get settled?
When i feel that i'm becoming too weak and pathetic i imagine my niece watching me. i don't want her to ever sink to my level so i try to stay strong at least in front of others.
hope this isn't too much, but you said you needed a kick in the ass! :)
Re: Anyone else finding it really hard to hold down a job right now? ionysis: Thanks, I have a been prescribed xanax by my doctor but at the moment I'm just taking a tablet before bed to make me sleep. I may try half at night and half in the morning instead.
What I have found far more helpful though was, in the last helf hour, reading through some of your posts to others via your profile page. This may sound bizarre but I have believed for the last four years that I could never find a man I respect as I do my ex - which is why I wanted so much to be married to him. Aside from the usual pain of separation from a relationship which has become addictive and a fear of being alone this has been the primary reason I feel the loss of my marriage so desperately. Finding out your husband is really a lying, cheating good for nothing bastard may hurt but it does enable you to feel better off without them whereas I still like, admire and respect my ex very much.
However, reading through your posts made me realise that there are men out there who are just as intelligent, articulate, cultured, well read, logical and morally upright. Moreover, that made me think that perhaps there may exist a person in my future who has all of those positive qualities but without my ex's negativity. So thank you for restoring my faith in other people.
Re: Anyone else finding it really hard to hold down a job right now? ionysis: Lil, you are right. I have two cousins and my Uncle said to me last week that he hopes I can find the strength to try to be the role model he wants for his daughters. Good motivation!
I will try and do my usual lists and set aside a time for crying at the bottom of it rather than the top! Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it.
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