What would you do? Temporary: On the way in to work this morning, I caught a discussion on the radio between two DJ's on the morning show. The male DJ is in the middle of a bad situation; He was recently made aware that his buddy is cheating on his wife (who is also a friend of the DJ), and he was trying to decide if and/or how he should tell her. All of the calls/emails that they discussed on the air were pro-telling the wife, for a multitude of reasons.
What would you do? Would you get in the middle or hope things worked themselves out on their own?
Re: What would you do? JadedButtafly: I'd have to have a talk with my friend.. and find out exactly "WHY"... and depending on that coversation, and trying to talk that friend out of what he's doing... I might very well go to her and talk with her about it.
Re: What would you do? YellowJacket: I would go to the male friend first. I would tell him what I know and that I can't let him do that to one of my friends (his wife). I would try to persuade him to stop the affair and tell his wife about it himself since that scenario has a much better chance of their mariage staying together. I think she'd be more forgiving if he confessed like that than if she heard from an outsider.
If he didn't at least end the affair within a couple of weeks or so, I'd seriously consider going back to him and telling him that I'm going to tell her now. I'd have to give a lot of thought to whether I would actually do that. It's easy to make a guess while not in the situation and I feel like I would tell her but I realize that it's very different when it's actually happening. I think that I would but I'd hate to be in that situation.
I think the point that would carry more weight with me than any other is that I can not allow a friend to be deceived and hurt in this manner. Having her continue in her marriage not knowing about the cheating would be doing her an injustice. I'd much rather it be solved between the two of them without my interference, though.
Re: What would you do? Temporary: It sounded as if the DJ was leaning towards giving his buddy a time limit in which to come clean and end things or he was going to have to tell the wife. Such a hard situation.
I was in his position when my sister and her husband were married. My boyfriend at the time worked with my BIL and was feeding me snippets of shady info about BIL's antics at work. I kept my mouth shut because (A) nothing was concrete and (B) boyfriend and BIL didn't get along and it could have been BF trying to start trouble.
So, I didn't say anything right away. Turns out, BIL was cheating (a lot) and my sister found out about it from someone else. I don't think she's ever really forgiven me for it, but I did what I thought was right at the time. Until you're in a situation like that, it's just tough to say what you'd really do - like YJ said.
Re: What would you do? pluscachange: [quote author=PluckyLives link=topic=39517.msg432234#msg432234 date=1167832892">
On the way in to work this morning, I caught a discussion on the radio between two DJ's on the morning show. The male DJ is in the middle of a bad situation; He was recently made aware that his buddy is cheating on his wife (who is also a friend of the DJ), and he was trying to decide if and/or how he should tell her. All of the calls/emails that they discussed on the air were pro-telling the wife, for a multitude of reasons.
What would you do? Would you get in the middle or hope things worked themselves out on their own?
[/quote">
I'd do my best to talk him out of it. If I didn't really know her (iow, she was not my friend just my friend's wife) I would keep my nose out of it as far as telling her. He's an adult, he should acquit himself as such.
I may threaten, however, to cease said friendship if he didn't come clean with her. Somebody that dishonest is not worthy of my friendship. You can make a mistake, but once confronted, should come clean, otherwise, I've no need for him.
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