Reflection MadorSad: Not sure where to put this or if it will make any sense.
Being home the last few weeks with the kidos has given me way to much time to reflect back over the last 3+ years. Lets just say the down time has given me way to much time to think.
First and foremost I’m still very angry with all the shit I went through with my marriage. On the up side I made it through with my family intact and I will say we are all stronger and closer than we have ever been. I fight on a daily bases with things I should have or could have done to keep this from happening but, on the whole it has made me a better person and that in itself is not a bad thing.
I have also made major advances in my job witch leads me to the real issue. I can see that this will ultimately lead me to the exact place that I was before. This puts me in a very precarious situation, from the hard knowledge that I have earned over the past few years I can see the red flags or the train wreck that is sure to come.
To give my wife some space and to dig myself out of a large finical hole I started working on the road, this did two things and it was a disition that we both made and I will say in hind site it worked out very well. In this time I was able to save a marriage and make tremendous advances at work lets face it she had time away from me and I worked some unbelievable hours that in turn paid of in fast advancement in my job. Also the amount of hours that I worked the net effect on my finical situation was nothing but positive. Now the problem arises the office thinks it is time to pull me back in and get projects started on the right foot instead of saving them in the field as I have been doing. In theory this is a rather simple transition but as we all know theory and reality are two very different things. First off I hate the office it makes my skin crawl it makes me uncomfortable. I have little respect for most of our managers and they have noted it on several of my resent reviews. When the whole mess with my marriage started I was in the office and I was not a happy man this was a big part of it. Second lets face it office work is not for everybody I do not like or condone what people in the office do to make them self look good to the big guys and I tend to call them on it and it tends to piss them off and this leads to me being pissed off and this leads to bad things at home. I hate to say it but, I’m happiest with a F’d up job that nobody in their right mind wants and the freedom to do what I need to do just to get it done. I know it is a sick thought but, it makes me happy and fulfilled and this makes my home life so much better. So the simple question is do I travel the same road that lead me to almost lose it all (knowing what I learned over the last few years) and make it work this time. Or give the field work a few more years and let a few of the managers retire and then make a transition back to the world of 9-5 after I mature and can handle the office type situation.
Re: Reflection Lady Phoenix: MOS~
honey..you have your answers right there laid out before you..dont you think? If you were doing something that made your homelife better and your financial situation...then where is the choice here?
If your marriage problems arose because you were in the office, hating your job etc..then why go back to that?
Just my humble opinion here ..but I say if it aint broke, dont fix it..if things are okay at home..and you are still willing to work in the field..keep on keepin on man. Dont go back to something that could possibly just set you back to square 1 and make you miserable.
Hugs to the B &B man ;)
Lady Phoenix
Re: Reflection alonewith2: I vote for the latter - stay out in the field.
My job was a big contributor to some of the problems in my marriage. When we did reconcile, those problems were still there. I'm not with the stbx anymore, but I doubt I'd ever go back to the hours that I had before. Being stressed out at work and not being happy will carry over to your home life no matter how hard you try to stop it. Bottling up those feelings will just make it worse as well.
Re: Reflection LostTeacher: MoS....have i missed you!!
i think also that you are answering your own question. is there anyway to have input on the direction of the jobs, but still be in the field? or at least half and half? is this a "office OR field", are they giving you a choice?
i think you have to do what makes you happy. i know that if i didn't enjoy my job as a teacher, i would be a miserable person. my job saved my life when i was going thru my divorce. it was comfortable, it was challenging, and what i needed. i think that people that are happier in their lives are people that are balanced......love life, work life, social life, family life.
you have to find the balance. and i think you already know where your balance lies.
luv ya!!
LT
Re: Reflection JimB: [quote author=MadorSad link=topic=39532.msg432571#msg432571 date=1167858368">
I hate to say it but, I’m happiest with a F’d up job that nobody in their right mind wants and the freedom to do what I need to do just to get it done. [/quote">
Don't hate to say it! I'd have to think many employers are looking for someone to do their shit work, and all the better if they do it in such a way that the boss doesn't have to even think about it. If your current employer is pressuring you to do something you don't want to do, let them know you're shopping your services around (even if you're not).
There's always a price to be paid for rapid growth in any one area of life. Sometimes it's worth it, other times it ain't. Just remember the decision is yours - you don't have to just put your head down and keep going the direction things seem to be taking you.
And keep thinking about b and b my friend. They're the two rock solid solutions to any problem!
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