Why asoldierssister: Why seems to be the first thing on my mind. So many questions.
Why all of a sudden do you want this?
Why did you never TRY to fight for this marriage and yet you said you loved me?
Why do I feel so damn hurt?
Why did you never care for me enough to respect what hurt me?
And why do I feel like I still need to fight for this marriage?
Why do I still want to be held by you and play the "everythings alright" game?
Why do I love you so much?
This morning, I felt you crawl into bed after work. And I was quiet as I laid there not able to fall back asleep. Finally I did fall asleep, only to wake up and find you so far away from me. Seeing you over there, so far away, with a shirt on... it made me cry. Made me feel that you don't even want to be close to me anymore. And I dont know why all this hurts me so much when I've known that we have needed to separate for so long. We haven't been happy.... it's all been basically an act... and now I find myself hurting so bad... feeling such rejection and a huge part of me just wanting to play it off. I dont get it. I dont understand it. I dont think I ever will.
