How common are double affairs? devastated: Just to throw the question out there. Suppose Husband finds wife cheating on him, she confesses, but recovery takes time, things do not go back to normal (obviously). Husband meets Girl A, and being fed up of the troubles at home, is more inclined to have an affair, or to at least takes things further with Girl A, get to know her better, ask her out for drinks to chat, thing he never would have done before discovering his wife's affair. Maybe also a little tit-for-tat mentality involved.
Is this a possible scenario, or a realistic one? And how can Husband A know if its the end of his marriage and that its time to move on with someone else, or if this is another fantasy relationship he created in his head just to escape troubles at home, very much like what his wife did?
What would you say to someone in this situation?
Re: How common are double affairs? mhiba: You are talking about a little "eye for an eye", a little revenge. It at first makes perfect sense, human emotions drive for a little retaliation .
However, my opinion to you, or rather your friend is; life is about integrity, you word/respect is the only thing you truly have that cant be taken away. If he feels this way, be a man and tell her. Why avoid the truth, "what a web we weave when we practice to decieve".
Good luck...
Re: How common are double affairs? Lumpy: [quote author=devastated link=topic=39547.msg432855#msg432855 date=1167878970">
Just to throw the question out there. Suppose Husband finds wife cheating on him, she confesses, but recovery takes time, things do not go back to normal (obviously). Husband meets Girl A, and being fed up of the troubles at home, is more inclined to have an affair, or to at least takes things further with Girl A, get to know her better, ask her out for drinks to chat, thing he never would have done before discovering his wife's affair. Maybe also a little tit-for-tat mentality involved.
Is this a possible scenario, or a realistic one? And how can Husband A know if its the end of his marriage and that its time to move on with someone else, or if this is another fantasy relationship he created in his head just to escape troubles at home, very much like what his wife did?
What would you say to someone in this situation?
[/quote">
I'd say it's not an uncommon reaction to having been cheated on. Definetly a possible scenario but not a real healthy one. What if the third party has feelings for you? You're really just using her. More than likely it is an escape that is only going to be short-lived. I'd say resolve whatever it is you're feeling about the marriage. Is it worth trying to save it? If so, another affair isn't gonna help.
Re: How common are double affairs? PennyLane: keep your dignity and self respect. 2 wrongs don't make a right.
Re: How common are double affairs? devastated: Thanks all for the replies. Yes, the person I described is me. I know its wrong to wanna have an affair to 'pay her back' and yes, it would make me into something that I now hate, a lying, unfaithful spouse who would forego my vows for some instant gratification.
Its hard to hold the marriage together alone, when the WS is still emotionally attached to the OW. Its hard to have nobody to comfort me and to hold me and to tell me everything is going to work out, or when I do that to my WS and all I get is indifferent silence.
Anyway, I shall not pursue any contact with this woman and let things be.
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