Lonely night Zipsfb: I guess it's just a lonely night. Two nights ago we broke up and it was as mutual as I think break ups can get. I intitiated it but only because she had told me we didn't have a future together. After a pleasant goodbye and a short discussion on the terms of the break up (such as we shouldn't talk for a few months) we said goodbye, I said I never stopped loving you, and let her go.
Three years of fighting are finally over and I find myself sitting in a dark living room, after a buddy left, trying to figure out what to do since I'm not tired (damn you wii!). I just want to be loved as much as I love, and even though nothing went wrong other than she losing feelings for me as a lover, I still wonder if this will be a life long curse. Will people always get bored with me? I'm not boring, I am loyal, I am "adventurous", accomplished, and successful. I am not abusive, don't raise my voice, I trust and don't get jealous... so why am I here now?
I guess there is no need to respond to this if you don't wish to. I am bored and looking to do SOMETHING, anything, even if it is typing in a blue text box and hoping my eyelids get heavy.
I enjoy my days, I don't think about her much (which was made easier because she had stopped treating me well two months before we called it quits), but nights are not as fun. This is the time I would talk to her on the phone, hear about her day, open my heart to her and long to see her again over the weekend. Distance has claimed another victim, and although I am not depressed, I am lonely... I miss her, I miss having someone to be with, to break the silence.
Re: Lonely night Cherry: There isn't words that can stop the silence. We have all suffered it once or twice.......or for six months of insomnia runnin ;)
It gets easier. You are more than likely not boring, did she give any reasons?? I dont know why people treat others in such a cavalier fashion, it sucks. But use this to fuel something positive in your life.
Damn that was kinda corny, why do I have the urge to smack myself in the back of the head................... ;D
Hang in there. Better days are ahead.
Re: Lonely night lonewolf: Hey Zip, i feel you brother.
Although i feel i'm *almost* over my breakup, closer to 95% as i only feel a tiny tinge of sadness when i think about the ex, in comparison to the wreck i was collapsing into tears whenever the thought of her crossed my mind months ago.
I've opened up to other women. I have let some in to my life, and slowly falling into infatuation for another... i feel i am doing really well bymyself now. My career is taking baby steps forward, my old life is slowly falling behind me now.
I can actually see a future without the ex.
But i still get thouse bouts of loneliness you mention. Sure, you can let one, or a bunch of women into your life and have flings with no strings, but you know what i miss?
That opening up to someone as you lie in bed talking about nothing in particular. Conversations about nothing that yet mean so much as you are sharing it with someone who understands you. You listenting to the one you care about as they trust you with the issues that your having.
The ability to give someone a huge hug whenever you feel the need to. Or to receive one unexpectedly.
As good as i am feeling about single life at the moment i miss the intimacy of a relationship. But i know now becasue of my brreak up not to rush things and to avoid certain situations.
It will get better Zip. Just let time run its course.
Re: Lonely night Zipsfb: [quote author=Cherry link=topic=39599.msg433911#msg433911 date=1167968706">
There isn't words that can stop the silence. We have all suffered it once or twice.......or for six months of insomnia runnin ;)
It gets easier. You are more than likely not boring, did she give any reasons?? I dont know why people treat others in such a cavalier fashion, it sucks. But use this to fuel something positive in your life.
Damn that was kinda corny, why do I have the urge to smack myself in the back of the head................... ;D
Hang in there. Better days are ahead.
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I agree and don't think what you say is corny at all. I feel that way during the day time, and know I have been set free in a sense. But still at night I feel more like I have lost my best friend forever. Our reasons for breaking are complicated, but mainly blamed on my desire for commitment and her young age (22). I am two years older, and more traditional when it comes to relationships, but at the same time wanted to allow her as much freedom in the relationship as possible. I guess I just wanted more than she could offer. She graduates in a few months and I wanted her to move to be closer to me while I finish school (1 year) at which point I offered to follow her anywhere. I even offered to pay her rent while she lived in my city, because money is tight for her. We had dated for 3 years and I wanted to step it up a little.
As for your post wolf, thank you. I think it is helpful to keep in mind how time really does heal all wounds. This X and I have a past and dating her previously she cheated on me, in time I learned to forgive her and after not talking for several months (and her coming back) I felt like I could give her another try. In the end I think I'm happy I got to try again, because the second time had some really good times and ended healthily. But it does hurt and I know it will take time to heal me. I'm happy you're learning to trust again, I hope it continues to improve for you.
Re: Lonely night Cherry: I agree Zip, nights were always hardest for me. I think in a lot of ways, I am a traditionalist too, my ex of course was not. We were young too though. Im sorry you are hurting. I hope that maybe we can help alleviate some of the pressure. I spent lots of late nights on Ojar to start. Hang in there.
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