Root of all evil?? Cherry: I was talking to a friend last night and I got to thinking after we got off the phone. Women are probably the most insecure creatures. What makes us that way?? Is it society? The bad break ups? Are we wired differently? And why the hell would we be wired in a way that men are not even understanding of sometimes?
Are most women insecure about something? Or is it just those of us who have been hurt/abused/abandoned etc?
Im curious to know what you gals think. Heck this could almost be in healing invisible scars..................
Re: Root of all evil?? Crystal_Blue_024: I definitely have my insecurities...
I've always had an issue with the size of my boobs (or lack of size I should say) the complex I have has come from little comments people (exes) have made, even jokingly, it hurt.... Brian told me once, "Why do you even wear a bra, you don't have enough to fill it out." He said it as a joke, but from that point forward I was always shy to let my itty bitties out...
I've also fought a battle with my weight since middle school... Kids use to moo at me, or ask me if I wanted a Twinkie... My ex, Drea, would also make comments about my weight when we'd get it big fights, calling me a "fat who*e" or tings like that. Even my mom used to make comments like, "Do you really want to eat that?" or call me Miss Piggy. It was rough. I've lost 70 pounds since June, and am re-gaining my confidence, but I still find myself suffering from "Fat Girl" syndrome from time to time, thinknig I'm not skinny enough or pretty enough...
Re: Root of all evil?? superwife: I think most wonmen are insecure about something, regardless of whether they have been dumped/abused/abandoned.
I look at my bf's best friends gf. She is only 23 (we are all 32). I would hardly call him cradle-robbing. She's overweight (not to say she's not attractive). But in the few times I've met her, she doesn't do much to make herself attractive (she just looks sloppy). They have been together for 4 yrs, so I don't know what kind of past she has. But this girl is so insecure!! It pains me to see her like that, or to hear the things she gets upset over. Is it all b/c of her weight? Now, i don't know her bf (my bf's friend) that well. Is he sending signals that suggest he is not satisfied with her? Could be, I don't know what goes on behind closed doors. But she has a very jealous personality, and that, to me screams insecurity.
Me? I'm not jealous, nor am I insecure about physical stuff. i am just insecure about my emotinal well-being at times. Like that might scare someone away. But I'm getting better.
Re: Root of all evil?? kimberly: I know so many women that are beautiful yet still so insecure. Why? I have no idea but it's true. My ex used to say that too, he felt (in his experience) that the more attractive a woman is, the more security, jealousy issues she has??
Re: Root of all evil?? sheydp: I think the root of all evil is really fear. Fear is what makes us insecure, and the most beautiful woman in the world will sometime encounter fear about how they are percieved. The most beautiful soul will encounter that fear. Women are probably more prone to it than men, but I have my theories about that too.
Women are taught that we all rely on each other. We are taught we are interconnected, and these connections make us strong and secure. Unfortunately we are also taught that the most important and strongest connection comes from a primary relationship with a man, so you better have that one or woe is you.
However, there is fear in needing something – and we are taught that we need approval. We need others to see us as beautiful, we need others to want us and want to be with us or we will be alone and weak. We are afraid to not have approval. Which is why physical beauty seems to have such a hold on people.
Really - so what if someone is drop-dead gorgeous? There will always be a way to pick it apart - or someone who will care more about other things, or someone who will have a different physical type preference. There will always be someone who won't want what we have - so we fear that.
Sometimes people don't care as much about physical appearance, but then it is about something else. And men? Those who seem more secure aren't really - they were just taught it is ok to go it alone - so the fear is buried lower - but that is what that whole mid-life crisis thing is - or the mean guy who turns out good when he gets old - because men realize they need others (and therefore the approval of others) to not be alone. Fear sets in - and behavior changes.
Shey
Click More for the next page.
