My first Post ever katbuttkid: this was 4/18/2004. HOLY MOLY that sounds like aeons ago! I was Lucyloo then. this was when i first met Lumpy!
Wow- Hey everyone, Men , Women, all divorcees or soon to be.
I am not sure what is exactly going on with my husband and I. The concrete facts - long story short- he moved out the end of January. I helped him pack. He bought the new place, and a month later, I bought this old place where I continue to live with my 9 year old son (his step-son).
We will be married 1.5 years this May. We have been a couple for just over 2 years. We have been friends for 13 years.
My husband and I both graduated from college (non-trad students) last May. Luckily, He found the job of his dreams... I love my job too, but am considering yet another degree because my job (the ONLY job I could get here that I can enjoy) pays less than $8/hr!
Um... I like where we live very much, so does he, but the schools I can go to are out of town (closest is 2 hours away).
I'm up in the air with my career, my marriage, and lifestyle. Somehow, I am rolling with all of these punches and keeping a sense of humor. I don't understand why I was dealt this particular hand and I'm not complaining. Sometimes... just sometimes... the future looks extremely scary and lonely, and remorseful and ever- so- melancholically romantic.
Lately, I find myself feeling polar opposites on a daily basis. Some moments, I'm sure we are just WRONG for eachother. Othertimes, I feel a sense of peace, luck, and gratitude that we met and had the second stoke of luck to fall in love 11 years later!
I mean, why does it all sound and feel so ordained by fate if it's just going to result in something neither of us really wants?
I mean, I still want to turn around 50 years from now and say "remember when we were married only a year and you moved out and bought our house over on 10th street?"
I feel like we CAN turn it around, I feel like we need a reconcilliation (whatever it may be) and yet I feel helpless to even know where/how to begin.
Maybe ending the relationship is how?
It is the only option presenting itself to me.
Even though I feel extremely committed, still.
Let me say that we have dealt with tempers (that hide fear and insecurites) in our relationship, but other than that, have no other issues.
Money is fine, spirituality is on, family life is growing, recreating is amazing, job satisfaction exists for us both (mostly), our sex life rocks, social life is agreeable, neither of us have had any affairs, and we even like just about the same kind of everything. He even likes the zaney colored clothes I sew him. And he wears them to work!
Yet, sometimes I just feel he's not ready.
I feel like I surpassed him long ago, the first time he showed me his insecurities and got mad at me for dancing at a concert (alone, and in no particular manner).
I said "John, I'm only dancing" hoping he'd catch the David Bowie innuendo (his name is John) and realize how silly he was being.
So- that's that.
Thanks for reading, and for sharing your stories as well!
Keep the peace!
L in MT
Re: My first Post ever trapped: Wow Tree.........
Youre an old-timer!
Geezer!!!!!! :P
Re: My first Post ever Lumpy: I remember that. LucyLoo eh? :D
Re: My first Post ever katbuttkid: The creepy part of it to me is reading me using my "wife voice"!!!
UGH! NO!!
SCARY.
Always puting the best foot forward and "presenting" like everything was really no big deal!
I say in that post something about temper issues... yeah! RIGHT!
Like him strangling me at least once a month was just a little temper issue we were having!
OMG!
It;s no wonder the advice I got was "fight for it. It sounds good still".
I guess tho that that was the advice I wanted to hear at that time.
A reason to hang in there and torture myself some more.
Lumpy-- you were great then, too!
Tree
Re: My first Post ever Lumpy: It was probably the advice I wanted to give at the time too. Back then, that's what I was doing. ;) What a dumbass!
