Re: Delayed exposure, but I've done it! devastated: Actually, it wasn't much fun at all. Sure I got *some* satisfaction from knowing I scored a point and could finally hit them where they can *feel* it, but no, I certainly did not have fun doing it. The call to MIL was hard, and I never want to have to do something like that again. :(
Update (sorry its long!): :)
She came home, and asked me what I told her mum. I said everything that I told your manager the other day. She got mad and said now her mum thinks she's a lesbian or is on the verge of becoming a lesbian. She said she told her mum that we had a lot of problems even before the A. Clearly she was trying to steer attention from what she had done. She couldn't omit any details cause I've aleady said it all, so she tried to throw a smokescreen. Anyway, tomorrow her mum wants to sit down with me, OW and my mum and to "talk it out". Whatever.
Anyway, initially she was angry, talked about divorce, how she was over the affair, and after that she would "deal" with the marriage etc. I didn't bite, didn't respond with more anger. Just said, there will be a time to deal with the marriage, now we have to settle the A. She kept saying the A is "definitely over" and that the marriage would soon be also etc etc. I just remained calm and said we'll deal with all that during marriage counselling and which marriage doesn't have problems and that I still loved her and was committeed to the marriage. I said D was something you did when you tried 10 different ways to work on things and you were at the end of the rope. You do it when you're very very very very sure, cause once done, its irriversible. She was thoughful, so I think she knows now that it doesn't hurt me as much as it did last time. She sees that I'm ready to work on the M, but I won't be devastated if it doesn't work out.
After a while she calmed down some, and started telling me about stuff she spoke to her best friend about. She said that today, the OW went and looked for her best friend at her workplace (supposedly spent 4 hours tracking her down), just to ask how my WS was doing etc. Said that she found all the gifts that she had given WS returned on her desk (I went with WS the night before and made her return everything). But her stupid friend said it MUST be my doing, and OW replied that it couldn't be cause the gifts were all still intact! Hahhah! Truth be told I was going to break em and place them on her desk, but WS stopped me. So we had a good laugh over that.
Later on we talked about her interview tomorrow. And she's asleep now, still in our bed which is good!
Before she came home, I messaged her best friend saying I know i'm not in her good books now but to take care of WS and to not allow her to call OW. She replied saying what I did was totally uncalled for, I've pushed her close over the edge, I'm going overboard. I replied that the WS probably failed to mention that the A was starting back up and that they had been holding hands again last week. And I was right cause her next reply was much more gentle. And the WS looked guilty and didn't deny when I asked her why she had lied (omitted the truth) from even her best friend.
Any help for the grilling session by her mum tomorrow on (probably) why I didn't meet her daughter's needs that she strayed? Think WS tried to steer it that direction.
Re: Delayed exposure, but I've done it! Feel: Not to over stand your ground or mine... but do you think maybe everyone being involved is a little childish? I mean why would you need to sit with the OW, yourself adn your wife...?? I don't get it :-\
I remember my dad wanted to sit with myself, my ex, his parents and my parents... but I told my dad it wasn't time yet for that... not that it made a difference anyway... my dad blames me for him cheating! How was it my fault... I gave him everything, even my blood....
Re: Delayed exposure, but I've done it! devastated: [quote author=Feel link=topic=40017.msg441584#msg441584 date=1168972776">
Not to over stand your ground or mine... but do you think maybe everyone being involved is a little childish? I mean why would you need to sit with the OW, yourself adn your wife...?? I don't get it :-\
[/quote">
Oops, typo. Meant to say her mum wanted to talk to me, WS and my mum to talk it out. The OW is nowhere in the picture, and nor should she be.
Re: Delayed exposure, but I've done it! longing: Mate, Whatever you're doing I don't sense very good feeling..... It looks like your satisfying your ego and trying to be politically correct..... but at the end of the day its your life..... and I sincerely hope you would be happy in years to come..... Good Luck anyway....
Re: Delayed exposure, but I've done it! devastated: [quote author=longing link=topic=40017.msg442059#msg442059 date=1169027671">
Mate, Whatever you're doing I don't sense very good feeling..... It looks like your satisfying your ego and trying to be politically correct..... but at the end of the day its your life..... and I sincerely hope you would be happy in years to come..... Good Luck anyway....
[/quote">
Hi longing,
Well, my approach may not be agreeable to everyone, but it does work. I'm following the good advise I've gotten at MB, and so far it has shown results which are positive. As for being "politically correct" well, I don't care what it may be as long as I'm taking steps to save my marriage. :)
Will update later, at my mum's place with a DIALUP connection! :-X
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