Why? I thought i didn't care anymore... lonewolf: So why does it bother me that i come home to an empty bed whilst you go and f*ck your new guy?
Why is it i don't feel happiness when you tell me about your problems with him?
Why don't i party and sing and dance when you're angry at him all the time?
Why can't i celebrate when you tell me its not working with him and you'll feel you'll just be 'friends' with him?
Why am i not happy when you tell me about how 'better' i am without you?
Why am i not happy about my career, which leads me to different places and new cities with new women, only to end up alone each night?
Why can i feel happy and proud of myself one minute, and feel bad for consecutive days?
Why does happiness stare at me in the face, but never stay around to comfort me?
Why do i care about you so much when i'm not in love with you anymore? Why can you still ruin me when the wall i've built is so damn high?
:(
Re: Why? I thought i didn't care anymore... YellowJacket: It sounds like maybe you just don't have all of the things that you need in your life quite yet. Maybe once you do, she won't matter to you. Or at least not as much.
It's a great sign that you don't delight in her difficulties, though. I doubt you were there when everything first started. I know I wasn't.
Re: Why? I thought i didn't care anymore... destinydriven: Can I ask why you still talk to her? I am not sure if I would be able to move on if I talked to my ex on a regular basis.
Although...I would love to hear that he is having a hard time...God is still working on me :)
Re: Why? I thought i didn't care anymore... lonewolf: Destiny,
Its only been since the new year i started talking again on a regular basis. I'm only strong enough now to speak to her again, i couldn't do it during the 'fresher' months.
We have a long history that goes back to childhood. That is why i still speak to her. It's not something i was willing to throw away.
But now, after all these talks and revelations, i'm beginning to discover it was SHE who's willing to throw it all away...
Yes i played a big part in the ending of our relationship (and impending wedding), but at the end of the day i'm not the one that ran into the arms of a man i have made friends with during 'work' and i'm now f*cking a week after we seperated... I come home to an empty house and an empty bed.
Yellow is right, i have most things i need to fully recover. I can have lunch (or dinner) with her and not feel a thing towards her (maybe the love shared between childhood friends). I can talk about her problems with the new guy and not feel a damn thing (in reality, i don't give a shit how bad she has it with him).
its just that when we seperate, and later i lie in bed alone, the thought of them f*cking in what was once OUR bed begins to bother me...
Re: Why? I thought i didn't care anymore... LostTeacher: sometimes, though, the talking is just not good for you.
i know that i've done this myself. i have a very long history with my ex, and since october, we've had a lot more contact than we did before.
but to be honest, i don't think that the contact is good for me. i find myself wanting more, and not being happy with myself. he was having trouble with his life, and i didn't find myself happy about it, i was actually sad. and the scary part was that hearing bad things about them made me think for just a nano-second that there could be something that could happen for us. and i know that that is not possible, and not good for either of us.
just think about it.....think about whether talking is really good for you and your healing.
LT
