Do I give it another shot? devochic: Help....Pardon the fragmented thoughts...
I left my husband six weeks ago. It came down to he had a very "inimate" friendship with another woman I was uncomfortable with. Well, after catching him in numerous lies, ridiculous amounts of text messages (including 52 to her on my b-day, none of which were to me), finding him at her house, him staying at her house until after midnight..... I left. I became physically ill due to my inability to handle their "friendship".
This was my third time moving out. We had dated for over 2 years, and just recently got married. When I moved back into the same city as him my eyes were opened to his friendship (which I became insecure with a few months prior when he refered to her as his best friend, and after he stopped making love to me). We had married for the wrong reasons, a pregnancy which ended up being a tumor, but I truely thought he was my one. He had been my soulmate for at least two years before.
I lived with him a total of three months. In the end I gave him an ultimatum, their friendship or our marriage. He said he could not give up his friend. So I left.
I still love him, and we talked today. I am just not sure if I am ready to let go or not. But at the same time he really hasn't changed very much, and even slept at the OW house after I left. He also took her to Disneyland. I just don't know. He continues to deny anything ever happened between the two (although the OW's friend told me differently). THe OW even told him not to marry me, and had her father call him and tell him the same.
Do I give it a shot. I made an appointment with a marriage counselor for us to go to so he can assess us and if we have a foundation to build on. Is it even worth it. Am I just seeking closure. I am so much healthier w/out him but I do miss him. AHHHHHH!!!
As I write this I say why am I even considering this. I do not even think this is an option. And he continually denies he did anything. But I don't trust him. I can't.
Any words of wisdom?
Re:Do I give it another shot? cloud: I'm a guy, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
From your post, I can't see how you could ever trust him or trust that the OW will ever be out of the picture.
If you are healthier now, focus on that, and work hard not to go back after him.
I know it's not easy with such strong feelings for him. But I'd hate to see you continue on and on in this rollercoaster with him.
Re:Do I give it another shot? devochic: Thank you. Its hard because we were best friends. I thought he loved me enough to let go of me before anything would ever happen.
I remember telling him that when we first got together. Don't cheat on me. If you need to, at least call and break up with me first.
I have yet to consumate my marriage, and I am already halfway divorced. Isn't that sad?
What is even sadder is I thank God I had a tumor instead of a child. At first I was devestated, but now I consider it a blessing because I was able to open my eyes to what was going on.
