Why Don't Men Know How To Use The Phone? jmarie: Seriously, you guys.
If your girlfriend leaves you a voice message, how long do you have until you call her back?
How long until she gets (rightfully) pissed?
There are so many ways to talk to people nowadays--shoot you don't even have to TALK if you don't want to, you can just TEXT people.
Also, girls, if you've left the bf a voice message, and he should probably call you back, you absolutely don't call him back in the meantime unless your house is on fire, or something like that, right? Or take up a hobby like fiddle to not dial him?
Here's the problem: my ex and I had communication problems. My bf before him (before my Ex-H) and I talked a few times a day on the phone. I know these two are extremes.
Current man I'm dating, we usually talk everyday (and see each other a few times a week) and yesterday should have been no exception. Also, he is really good about taking people's calls, and almost never misses a call from me (seriously, he has picked it up at work, at a bar with his friends, when he's driving, etc). Yesterday he went to a big sporting event so I waited to call him until like 5, 5:30 so he would have time to get home, etc. I know that he has to work early today. The phone rings and rings and I go to voice mail. I leave him a short message.
Well it is like 10:30 am today and I have not heard from him. No text, no voice mail, no nothing. Maybe he is planning to call me today after work (probably not until 7, 7:30 anyway which I think is kind of late) but I am pissed!
I know that part of it is unfounded--it is my own irrational fears about us not communicating because that was a hot button issue in my divorce. And I know it is wrong to chase him down by calling him some more. So I get to wait. God. Retraining my behaviors really sucks.
Re: Why Don't Men Know How To Use The Phone? mhiba: I wouldnt get too worked up over it, sometimes you just cant call. Or his phone is off, etc, etc. Its only been less than one day...if it goes on for a couple of days..then start to worry.
Be patient...
Re: Why Don't Men Know How To Use The Phone? flipflopnomore: Give it a bit more time and try and be patient. I am starting to believe that when they don't call all the time its not intentional and try not to take it personally.
My stbxh called me alot during the day when he was working. Probably at least 3 or 4. I liked it and got used to it. Usually they were never very long conversations unless there was a crisis but nevertheless he checked in.
My current bf generally doesn't call me until he gets off work. He is contstantly on the phone and is so busy and intense. There are times he calls me to say hi, but I literally have to sit on my hands to not call him. I don't want to bug him. If I do call him though, he calls me back within an hour or so.
I was looking at it as a red flag in our relationship llike he wasn't into me. But I have since stopped feeling that way. All of his other actions say he is.
Have you tried saying something to him nicely, drop hints etc? Is it a new relationship or something that has been going on? If its sort of new, then give it some time.
Re: Why Don't Men Know How To Use The Phone? JimB: Maybe I'm getting crotchety, but calling someone every day whether or not I have something to say gets old very quickly. If I like you, I'll tell you when I see you. Meantime, I got a life.
But then, you probably wouldn't date me anyway. ::)
Re: Why Don't Men Know How To Use The Phone? litebrite: I feel the same way when someone doesn't call. I react too quickly and write them off. Some people just need more space than others. when J doesn't call me back, I immediatlely think the worst. I think - he doesn't want to be with someone who is damaged and broken and couldn't make her marriage work. Then a couple of days later we will have an amazing conversation which wipes my fears away. going through divorce has made me face my issues of having low self-worth and low self-esteem. Stay strong. Just have fun. If you are having fun and enjoy each other, everything will flow naturally. Next time you are waiting for him to call, do something nice for yourself. You'll feel better!
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