Re: Help me out here....how do I deal with this? Temporary: Another question...would you still feel this way if he wanted to go with the boys when you weren't pregnant?
Re: Help me out here....how do I deal with this? thejoker: I'm going on a trip in March with a bunch of my friends.. I asked my GF how she felt about it, and if she had said anything but ok I wouldn't be going.
My friends are probably like his friends.. chasin tail for all they are worth. I'm going to hang out with my buds, get away from life for a few mintues and see the sights. I know what I'm going to do and what I won't do.
The pregger situation adds something to the mix for me though.. I'm not sure I would vacate the scene in that situation. Too many questions, or moments I would want to be there for.
It is a trust issue, that's for sure. The only person who knows what he is capable of is him. So it does come down to do you trust him or not?
Re: Help me out here....how do I deal with this? td7629: [quote author=sheeps link=topic=40043.msg440818#msg440818 date=1168888492">
WG - for what it's worth, I don't think you are over-reacting. Personally, I don't believe people who are in relationships that they care about would put them in situations that would cause their partner to wonder as you are. I truly believe that bad company corrupts good morals.
Now, many would argue that trust is more important, but I can't get past the idea that those who love us should understand human nature and that situations can get away from the best of us.
In my mind, it all comes down to sacrifice: what are our partners willing to sacrifice to keep our relationship healthy and strong. Mexico will still be there later next year...and how much fun would it be for the both of you to go?
My advice is to get over your anger and approach him directly from the position that he owes you more than that, given your relationship. He may very well be rebelling against the responsibility, but that doesn't mean you should not remind him of it.
I hope everything works out for you.
-R
[/quote">
WG.. I agree with everything sheeps wrote here..
Also, 2 weeks is a long time for a vacation.. perhaps you can negotiate 1 week with him??
Re: Help me out here....how do I deal with this? alonewith2: If it's just the pregnancy thing, then I think he would understand if you told him your feelings.
If it's purely a trust thing, then that may be something else entirely. A lot of us have our insecurities and troubles with trust due to what we've been through, but preventing him from going on a vacation isn't really gonna stop him from cheating if that's what he intends to do. At some point, you're going to have to just let him go without you and see what happens.
Re: Help me out here....how do I deal with this? WhiskeyGirl: [quote author=Stinkybutt link=topic=40043.msg440822#msg440822 date=1168888642">
Another question...would you still feel this way if he wanted to go with the boys when you weren't pregnant?
[/quote">
Yeah, actually I think I would. Providing we are talking after the baby is born and not looking backward to when we were just "dating" and not a "family"
I know I would never go to him, say...after the baby is born....and tell him that a bunch of my single girlfriends are taking a "girls trip" to Mexico and I'm gonna go.....see ya! I think that would be extremely disrespectful. I am not "single" ...I am in a committed relationship and I have a family....why would I want to spend 2 weeks pissing it up in Mexico and leave my family behind? .......Why does he?
[quote author=TheJoker link=topic=40043.msg440823#msg440823 date=1168888701">
So it does come down to do you trust him or not?
[/quote"> [quote author=alonewith2 (SNB) link=topic=40043.msg440918#msg440918 date=1168893975">
If it's purely a trust thing, then that may be something else entirely. .
[/quote">
I guess its a trust thing ....I would say that I trust him as much as I will ever trust anyone...but I will never blindly trust anyone again. Does that mean that I can't have a successfull relationship? I doubt it....I think it means that I'm not a niave child anymore.
[quote author=sheeps link=topic=40043.msg440818#msg440818 date=1168888492">
I truly believe that bad company corrupts good morals.
[/quote">
I am with sheeps 100% (actually the whole post is EXACTLY how I feel) but this part in particular....I have seen it happen too many times. And I, myself, know I am only human.....and I wouldn't put myself in a position where I may be tempted to cheat....ie. a drunken girls trip to another country with people I KNOW will be out to pick up guys. Why would I? Again...why would he?
Heres another piece to the story as well. This same group of guys set the stage for the failure of his marriage. They hired a "stripper" for his bachelor party ....but paid extra for "special" services. Got him completely hammered and , while he maintains that he never "cheated" in the terms of having sex with this woman....obviously something happened because she found out 6 months later and "retaliated" by cheating on him with one of his "friends"
Red Flag? Duh ::) Hindsight is 20/20
and before anyone says I should start questioning his choice of friends...there is no point ....this is a kind of "boys club" that you don't just walk away from. It has its benefits, believe me....but I know first hand that alot of these guys will stoop pretty low to make sure the members loyalty lies with them first and foremost.
Do I trust M? Sure I do, I truly believe he is a kind hearted, decent man with good morals.....but I absolutely think that bad company can indeed corupt good morals......and I think he's a big enough boy to know that....and a big enough boy to make up his own mind without me telling him what he can and cannot do. I'm just really not liking his decision here...I think its stupid and insensitive....and it really leaves me wondering if anything will really change when we are married....when the baby is here, etc. Will his family ever take precedance over what the boys want him to do....or are we going to be a close "second" for the rest of our lives?
Yeah....I think too much ::)
Ugh....I'll talk to him but I'm just extremely discouraged. he KNOWS he shouldn't go...or he wouldn't have said he wasn't going to begin with....suddenly he talks to N and he changes his mind and now he wants to go?
Yeah...whatever buddy :-X
Anyway...thanks guys. I'm sure we'll work it out....I appreciate all your responses :)
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