Re: I am a liar YellowJacket: [quote author=surprised link=topic=40045.msg441016#msg441016 date=1168903768">
Because I'm like 99% positive that he wants more than friendship. And I don't feel that way about him, besides that fact that I think my ex and I are going to try to work things out.
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You'd probably do a lot better just leveling with him rather than having him continue after you thinking there might be a chance.
Re: I am a liar surprised: My other friend said the same thing. I'm just so bad at confrontation. I'd so prefer to email him and just say, I don't know what you think may happen between us, but nothing will happen. I've given him so many hints that I don't think friends should hook up and that he is most definitely my friend. I guess hints are quite enough.
Re: I am a liar Zipsfb: This is always hard. I see two options: Confront him which is pretty forceful or you could avoid hanging out with him other than in public situations... like coffee shops. I would probably do the second. If I'm not interested I'll just not give off any signs that I am, even if it means I have to kind of blow them off.
I don't understand why it is your responsibilty to clear things up. Lying was wrong, but avoiding the situation wasn't. He's putting the moves on you, he must be willing to accept the risks. If it gets too bad, sure confront him. But as long as you don't give him any signs (e.g. no hugs, kisses, just be very standoffish) I don't see why you have to rub it in his face that you don't want to date him.
If he asks, tell him (be nice of course). Otherwise I think you are fine doing nothing.
Re: I am a liar YellowJacket: [quote author=surprised link=topic=40045.msg441184#msg441184 date=1168914214">
I don't know what you think may happen between us, but nothing will happen.
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If you don't mind the input, I think it can be phrased a little better. That kind of sounds a bit harsh. You might consider something like:
"It seems like you might be interested in something a bit more than friendship. I might be reading you wrong but just in case I wanted to let you know that I'm only interested in being friends. I don't want to send the wrong signals so I thought it might be good to bring it up."
This at least gives him an out to say he wasn't looking for anything more so he can save face and your friendship won't be harmed. He can just claim you mis-read the signals.
I probably wouldn't mention that you're thinking of reconciling with someone else because he might interpret that to mean he can try again if that doesn't work out for you. Better to let straight out that there isn't an interest for more with him.
Re: I am a liar surprised: YJ, I would never phrase it like that in real life, I was being concise for the sake of the post. I agree, I would definitely put it more gently. I'm hoping to avoid the issue for now, but if I have to, I will find a tactful way to say what needs to be said and hopefully still maintain our friendship and let him retain his pride.
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