Family involvement in the breakup....comments please XTINA: I'm curious about something so I'll give you a little background before I ask my question.......
I never really bonded with my husbands family. Nothing dramatic ever happened. There were no shouts of I hate you or anything. I just never got along with my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-law just is not the kind of person I could ever relate to, and I do not like the type of person she is. Still I thought his family respected that I was his wife, had been a part of his life for almost a decade, and as such worthy of some consideration. During the whole mess of me finding out about the affair, I find out his sister had contact with the OW and talked to her about me, encouraged the affair continue, and encouraged the breakup.
We separated, I moved out on my own, and have lived alone for the past three months. I have been talking with my husband, and I'm trying to see if I have it in me to forgive him....but connected with that is forgiving his sister. I'm not sure I have it in me to do both.
My question is this......Have any of you ever found out a family member had involved themselves in your breakup in such a way? Or for that matter in any way that was negative and not supportive of you? How did you handle it? Did you ever say anything to them? How did you move past the bitterness and hate for what they did?
Re: Family involvement in the breakup....comments please ebl: I know for a fact that most family memebers will almost always take the cheaters side.
My husband's family absolsutely refuses to believe that he had an affair - because he's the golden boy of the family (and they all believe his lies).
A friend of mine had big problems with her mother in law. The mother in law was in contact with the OW, AND she encouraged the breakup, even though my friend had her grandchildren.
Later, when her husband wanted to reconcile with his wife, the wife accepted the husband back, but she had great difficulty accepting what the mother in law did. However, the mother in law called her, and apologized.
Don't take it too personally - I know it hurts, but your husband's family will almost certainly support him. It's what families do.
Re: Family involvement in the breakup....comments please XTINA: I agree EBL that's what families do is support each other, but I still think there is a line that you don't cross
Re: Family involvement in the breakup....comments please ebl: xtina,
Me too, I believe as you do, but the sad reality is that sometimes these family members are so stupid like that.
It seems to me that they love to see fights or a little excitement go on in your once perfect marriage, so they aggravate the situation.
Re: Family involvement in the breakup....comments please td7629: They don't always support the cheaters... my ex's 3 sister's think my ex is a total d*ck and have told me they hope I find a really good man. At first my ex's brother was really pissed at him too and told me that he could not believe what he did but is now fine with him but his 3 sister's don't really talk to him at all now. None of them showed up when he remarried in Sept.
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