Re:need help/support cloud: The one thing that I never really had with my ex that I always wanted was laughter. I never really could make her laugh and she never really tried or wanted to try and make me laugh.
That's what I'm looking for in the next woman I date--along with a lot of other qualities that were both present and lacking in my ex.
I'm sorry aloneinNC. And I know how lonely it is for you. I agree with Kinney that you should give her space and let her respond back to you when she is ready.
What kind of work does she do that keeps her away for so long?
Re:need help/support cloud: Benign neglect. I love it. I wish I had your lawyer.
I think benign neglect is what I'm doing right now. It doesn't seem to be working, but it doesn't seem to be hurting, either.
The rollerblades idea also rocks. I need to look into that and find some places here where I can "bump" into people.
Re:need help/support lookin4alite: I agree Benign Neglect works. when the ex ticks me off, I just ignore her calls and make me and the kids safely unavailable. She then starts showing up like a puppy. It is actually pathetic to a point but it is true -- Benign Neglect works!!!
I say give her space and act just like you don't give a d!mn$. She'll wonder why you are so happy and probably come back. Don't call or email or cry to her. Just ignore her it does wonders !
Re:need help/support cvictory: thanks to everyone for chiming in. to answer one person's question, my wife is a sales rep for her father's company and her territory is the northeast. i guess she extended the last two b-trips on purpose to create some distance.
seems like the general consensus is to give her the space she seems to most desparately desire and try to pretend like i'm over this thing. the hard part is thinking: is if i do this will she guess i'm over it and she's off the hook? only time will tell is probably the answer
and i don't want her taking my dog, but i already know that's going to happen.
Re:need help/support cloud: aloneinnc,
If you are worried that she'll take your silence as a sign that you are giving up on the relationship, you could leave her a voicemail and just tell her that you aren't going to call anymore but that you are around if/when she wants to talk.
That way, she knows you are still open-minded to talking but that you aren't going to pursue her to the point that it leaves you emotionally lost.
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