Re: Living Alone Now trapped: Oh dear
This I can completely relate to. When ex first left me I was the exact same way, luckily I had a big dog at the time. I did all the things you do and more. Just a paranoid wreck. I would sit there and listen for every little sound and be freaked out. We lived in a condo in a suburb but I felt like I was going to be intruded upon at any moment, every moment!
Then when I knew (or so I thought) it was over between us I moved to an apartment in NYC and felt "safe"! Go figure
Well, after we moved to Cali ( reconciliation) and he left me again the same shit started all over. There I was in this HUGE space with all these windows, doorways, patios, decks..you name it. SOme didnt even have curtains yet as we werent even there long enough to put them up. Granted, the town we livd in was one of the safest you can be in but we lived in the sticks way up above the bay so it was DARK. My neigbors were never around and it was incredibly isolating and creepy. Again, Thank God I had dogs.
I think this is without a doubt moreso a product of not being used to living alone rather than the fact that someone will actually break in. BUt I know that feeling and I know how scary and disruptive it is so just wanted to respond to your post.
If I think of any other tricks of mine to make it easier I will pm you but I really cant think of anything other than an alarm system and they are not cheap! We didnt have one in 2nd place, most people didnt even lock their doors but it didnt matter to me~~still paranoid and jumpy.
Not sure if you said you have pets. Having a dog around does wonders....If they werent thee I would have surely wanted to have moved to a hotel room while still paying rent just b.c I culdnt deal with living there all alone once the sun went down.
HUGS. Stay strong. Be safe but know you probably really already are.
Re: Living Alone Now alonenow: Thank you so much. I have a cat and she's awesome. The thing about cats is that they're not like dogs though. Dogs are great alert creatures. I'm really contemplating getting another cat and possibly a dog. I know it's a lot of responsibility but my situation is permanent and I think having a dog around would help me a lot. I have to figure out how to walk them in the dark though and not be scared. Carry a gun? It's hard. I'm hoping once I do it long enough it'll get easier. I live in suburbia, nice neighborhood, no reason to be afraid. It's just an overwhelming situation and it's new and scary. The house is an open concept house so that helps. I keep doors shut to the rooms I'm not in and that helps. I'd like to be able to get to the point where I can come home at night, feel safe in my own home, make dinner, clean, and not be hindered by my crippling fear. That's hard for me. I know there is no magic answer, but it's nice knowing I'm not alone. Thank you guys.
Re: Living Alone Now destinydriven: I think that it is natural to feel the way you do. I just bought my first home about 6 months ago, and I am just beginning to feel comfortable in it. I would check the locks about 10 times before I went to bed, walk through through every room, put the alarm on, and lock my bedroom door when I first moved in. Now I am down to just putting the alarm on and checking the doors a couple of times.
I am much more comfortable now, but it takes time to feel comfortable in a new neighborhood and a new house. I would suggest that you meet your neighbors, and continue to do what have been. It gets easier, and once you get comfortable, believe me, you will be happy that it is just you. You are woman enough to do this.
Hang in there :)
Re: Living Alone Now ionysis: I had this exact same thing in my house in France. It is very rural and isolated with 4 bedrooms and I stayed there on my own decorating it for a month. It was so scary I moved into the smallest bedroom in the middle of the house so I wouldn't be on the edge and felt safer. I found putting in curtains and lots of soft furnishings and warm lighting was the only way to get over it. Until it felt "cosy" rather than echoing and stark and frightening I just couln't move around without feeling like I was going to be pounced on from every corner. I couldn't affrord to do the whole house so I just shut the doors of the rooms I couldn't make nice and put small side lamps, cushions, rugs throws and fluffy things all over the rest of the house. It wasn't expensive as I went to really cheap stores but it made a huge difference.
Re: Living Alone Now 2be: Don't get a gun... you don't need it. And if you can afford a new dog and/or cat and everything that comes with it, then you can probably afford a simple house security system. You can turn that sucker on at night and not have to worry when you're in the shower.
Look into it.. .I'm sure you can find a good deal.
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