Re: I dont understand, Men that dont want to have sex vdc_1975: [quote author=tree link=topic=40087.msg442769#msg442769 date=1169076990">
I think it's intimacy issue based.
To love someone, marry them.... I dunno, a lot of men aren't very in tune wiht their feelings. They can know they love their wives, but insofar as fully feeling that on a daily basis and wanting/needing to act on it, are different.
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I agree 100%, it is an intimacy issue, and most men are not in touch with their feelings or know how to express them. Thankfully I have been told I dont have that issue.
[quote author=tree link=topic=40087.msg442769#msg442769 date=1169076990">
Also, I think this problem is a negative feedback cycle. The woman says "We don't have sex enough" and there it is: the new reality. And it's a problem, but already the man feels inadequate, or instead of taking it as an opportunity to say "O, we don't huh? Why don't we start then?" it seems the offended spouse is more apt to just sorta go "I haven't felt like it"
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I can understand this. Perception=Reality. It leads to resentment when something sexual does happen as well.
[quote author=tree link=topic=40087.msg442769#msg442769 date=1169076990">
Also, if the women are hot, the men might be feeling less attractive (In comparison) and might have some self-fulfilling prophesies going on that she'll eventually lose interest in him anyway?[/quote">
Im not sure about this though, in 3 of the 5 cases I know about they were interested in the women enough to marry them, but then not have sex with them? The other 2 cases they lived together. Maybe its like the little tiny dog that wants the big huge ham bone, then realizes its too big for him and he doesnt know what to do with it.
[quote author=tree link=topic=40087.msg442769#msg442769 date=1169076990"> Do these women/couples you know have children?[/quote">
Nope, no children. Well 2 had children from previous mistakes. But they are/were not young children at the time.
[quote author=tree link=topic=40087.msg442769#msg442769 date=1169076990"> I don't know. But the feeling that a man is providing, (money stability, etc) might be enough, or that doing so takes his focus off the wives.... that makes sense too.[/quote">
Well in one case, my best friend, she made more than he did, she did all the finances, and quite frankly IMO is the hottest one of the 5 that I know. She had to deal with the usual "provider and money" stress not him.
[quote author=tree link=topic=40087.msg442769#msg442769 date=1169076990"> Both of my good girlfriends in school with me are both going through divorces-- neither one of their husbands were puting out!
That's sorta the reason one is getting divorced, but not the reason the other one, just a symptom.
Tree
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Its EVERYWHERE!!! I still just dont get this phenomenon...... ???
Re: I dont understand, Men that dont want to have sex katbuttkid: ME NEITHER.
Sex is too important, it's vital, I think.
I didn't used to think that when I was younger. I thought it was funny if my BF and I went a month without sex. I'd go "O, so cute, like an old married couple"
NOT the case.
Tree
Re: I dont understand, Men that dont want to have sex kitkat: A larger population of men than you'd think have low testosterone levels out there. The causes vary...there's a lot of speculation about diet and hormones in foods. Meh...
There can be a truly medical reason. I would venture to guess that it's usually and emotional/mental thing though.
