Only been married 1.5 months dtkb: We had been together 6 years, lived together for 5. Everything between us has been great. Of course we had are usual spats, but nothing major, ever. We thought nothing would change when we got married, we thought everything would be great, we thought we would never get divorced. We were that couple that everyone thought would make it. We have been married almost 1 1/2 months (yes, less than 45 days) and everything has changed and nothing is the same.
He wants more independance he says. He says he regrets marrying me, not the wedding day because he says the wedding made me happy. He says he regrets asking me and that he was not really ready to get married, he just wanted to make me happy. His only other regret he has is the amount of money people spent on us at our wedding. I asked him why he asked me to marry him, he said because he always thought of it as my wedding not his. Not a marriage. He says he wants to be with me for the rest of our lives, he just doesn't want to be married.
He doesn't have a job right now and he tells me I am the only thing he has. That he needs more independance. I live in Northern California and he just accepted a job in Southern California staring in Feb. I am a teacher and I can not leave unitl June.
(Not that he even asked me how I felt about moving to So Cal).
I am not sure if he is just freaking out and everything will mellow and go back to normal (my optimistic brain) or that things are only going to continue like this until we do get divorced. I know part of his issues is that we met at only 21 and he never has been with anyone other than me. I don't know that he will ever come to grips with that.
How long do I support him and when do I give up. He has changed who he is and our relationship. He lies now and he never did before, he is mean on purpose now and he never was before. He says that he feels he has ownership of something, that is his way of getting independance.
I can't sleep, I can't eat.
I just love him so much it hurts.
Whens enough, enough? How do you know the difference between a relationship that is mendable and one that is not. I fear that if I stay with him he will always resent me and that if we don't get divorced now, we will sooner or later.
He seems to agree with me about that,
:'( which is why I am here... ???
Re:Only been married 1.5 months cloud: So his behavior before the wedding and the years you both were together was never like how his behavior is now?
Do you really think it's just a phase?
You both should be in like the honeymoon phase or something--even though you've known each other for a long time. It's odd that he's getting cold feet just from being married since you've both been together for so many years.
