Re: Ojar as a Substitute snkpack: [quote author=Trixie (aka Topaz) link=topic=40090.msg441611#msg441611 date=1168974520">
Maybe it's time to expand your social network. I know that your life is probably pretty different than mine based on your location, but have you considered...
1. Political activism/volunteering.
2. Getting involved in local arts activities, like the museum. I am a volunteer usher for the world music institute. Not only do I see lots of concerts, I meet lots of other musicians and music lovers.
3. Joining a church or a cult (ha ha just kidding)
Those activities have worked for me. I've met a lot of new people, including people I've dated.
Let's brainstorm, Snkpack. You can do it, but you have to put yourself in the mindset of possibility and not in the one that says "nothing's working."
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Thanks Trixie. I am doing something about it. I have a coffee date later this week. My point is mostly that I'm realizing what I was doing and that I'm not content with it. I am breaking out of the rut by "getting out there" again. I guess I just wanted to share because I don't think I'm the only one who's using Ojar as a substitute for something in my life.
Re: Ojar as a Substitute just_me_detroit: SNK I have been having very similar thoughts recently.
I agree with you.
I use ojar and I have a blog. The blog gives me emotional support. Ojar gives social support.
I have been thinking of disapearing from those worlds.
My divorce is final in 3 months. I think that is when I will go.
Re: Ojar as a Substitute YellowJacket: I'm not on OJar for divorce support either. I'm here because I meet so few people in real life and I work at home. This is my social outlet.
It's also nice to feel like you're adding something to someone's life, even if all you do is joke around with them. I really miss being needed. My X-wife needed me for many things and it felt good. I think this is where having kids really helps a lot of you.
I keep saying I'll volunteer but every time I make the effort to look I don't find anything that's a good fit for me.
Re: Ojar as a Substitute PennyLane: good post SNK.
I go out for dinner or happy hour a couple times a month with girlfriends, and thats good to get out.
I look forward to signing on each day and visiting with all of you. I don't have many single friends at all.
Like many of you, I'm passed the hurt anger phase of growing through a divorce and was able to get thru via many of your support.
I truly enjoy the laughs I have with you guys. Guess I have a special connection (even though we've not met face to face) with you and I know I'm not ready to sign off.
SNK, I completely understand your feelings. I've thought them myself.
Re: Ojar as a Substitute spooky: I see what you're saying about ojar being your social life and how it's not quite the same. I've been doing that for a couple years now, even when the illusion of a happy marriage was in full swing. You can meet some really cool people from message boards and place like this, but no matter how much you chat with them or how well you get to know them it's not the same as having someone you can sit in the same room with while you BS. I guess that's the part of human nature that makes us "social creatures". And that goes for a friends relationship or an attempt at something more (not that I know about that one from experience). I don't have a good remedy for it other than gritting your teeth and getting out there (good for you that you do though), but if I think of anything I'll let you know. And if you think of something first let me know okay? ;)
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