Re: Ojar as a Substitute yella: I'm here more now for the friends I have here, and the occasional vent. I like writing, and I'm here mainly during my work hours. Ok, that's a bad thing, but it's good as well. If I didn't have Ojar to keep me at my desk, I'd be off visiting people instead. Ojar keeps me glued where people can find me, and keeps my mind busy. ::) Ok, a bad thing.
I'm finding as time goes by, that it's getting to the point where I'm not here as often when I'm at home. Mainly because life is so busy now with the kids that I'm just exhausted by the time I get home, and I don't really want to be in front of a pc anymore. Maybe that's me naturally progressing to moving on? Maybe...
There was a time when I was hopelessly addicted to this place, but the "shine" and need has worn off a bit, and I'm looking at my real life more.
I think this will happen to you too, snk. In time. ;)
Re: Ojar as a Substitute tripny2k6: I like to get on here during work and help people out throughout the day. Im still getting advice from all of you and I love this place and will probably keep coming back for awhile. I like it right now bc it gives me something constructive to do in the evenings rather than hanging out in the bars. Plus I fing freckles entertaining.
It is, however, my dream to pull some ojar ass baby. Woo HOO!!!
LOL
Re: Ojar as a Substitute Batman: [quote author=Snkpack link=topic=40090.msg441562#msg441562 date=1168970686"> Let's face it, Ojar is the ultimate feel good. You come here, you flirt, you'll never meet most of the people on Ojar so the rejection factor is low. Even if you get rejected, the sting is minimal. And Ojar is full of compassionate people who flatter you, flirt with you, and make you feel as awesome as you want to be. But its not real life. And flirting on Ojar hasn't gotten me any closer to my real life goals.
[/quote">
Two things.
1. The above statement is very wise, and ... at risk of sounding condescending, which I don't mean to be ... I'm very proud of you, S.
2. I suggest you change your goal. Instead of having the goal "I want a boyfriend" have the goal "I want to be happy."
Boyfriend does not equal happy.
In fact, being happy is about 100 times BETTER than having a stupid boyfriend.
A boyfriend will come when you are happy, and then the relationship can be whole, and good, and will simply add to your joy ... even magnify it.
---
But, having gotten to know you a bit, you seem to be a very results-driven person. I know you like numbers, and I think somehow having that "1" in the boyfriend column of the imaginary-life-spreadsheet would be nice.
How can you measure happiness?
This is kind of embarrassing, but I keep a record of the days I have been happy. I update it each week. I measure my overall happiness based on things like mood, energy, relationships, even money. It's silly, and not scientific, but it makes me feel good to see if I'm making progress. It makes me feel good, also, to know that I have some control over the matter. If one week I was only happy 3 days when I had been happy 5 before, I can analyze my week and try to make myself happier.
You don't have to be geeky like me and keep a record, but I sincerely think you should try to be happy, S.
Here comes the ego boost: You're a good girl, and you're doing great. You won't get over the pain of the abandonment overnight. It may take years and years, as it has and will continue for all of us (including myself). But you've come a long way, and Ojar has helped you work all of it out.
Plus you get to know and relate to people, like me, and like all of us, who are going through the deepest valleys in our lives.
Here's the good news.
There are many old-timers here who are almost out of the valley. I'm one of them. You are too, Snk.
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Okay, I've written too much here.
I try to help where I can.
And I consider Ojar part of my volunteering. :)
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Keep it up, Snk. There's light ahead.
Re: Ojar as a Substitute JimB: I'm just here for the freaks. 'Cuz all the best freaks are here.
;D
Re: Ojar as a Substitute pluscachange: Pretend flirting?
Shoot ding diggity, I never pretend when I flirt. If I think she's hot, as in cool, intelligent, funny and attractive, then I flirt. If I flirt with a girl on Ojar, or in real life, she may rest assured then that I consider her cool, intelligent, funny and attractive. Case closed.
Reality sucks enough without inventing more of it through lying.
